


The Murder of Antoinette Stark

by AnneKatherine



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Black Widow: Forever Red, Boarding School, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Espionage, Female Tony, Female Tony Stark, Fluid Sexuality, Friendship, Genius Tony Stark, Geniuses, Girl Power, Girls with Guns, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kid Tony, Kid Tony Stark, Kidnapping, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prostitution, Psychological Torture, Red Room (Marvel), Russia, School, Seduction, Slow Burn, Spies & Secret Agents, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Torture, Training, Training Camp, please comment, sort of boarding school but spies, very minor steve/tony, Русский | Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 00:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18839914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneKatherine/pseuds/AnneKatherine
Summary: They take everything from her. Family, Identity, Free Will. And they expect her to thank them for it, to smile and dance for them, because they took her weakness and made it strength. But it's not strength, it's cruelty, anger, and insanity. No one will save her, no one knows she's alive, and it's been a long time since anyone thought about the murder of Antoinette Stark.





	1. December 16th, 1993

Date: December 16, 1993  
Time: 2300  
Asset: Winter Soldier  
Target: Howard Stark, Maria Stark

The dark winding road lulled Toni to sleep for the very last time. It was a weightless sleep that filtered dreams in and out, none of them mattered though, all she could feel was calmness. It’s only fitting she was woken sharply, by the screech of metal against metal, followed by a crash. The car was firmly wedged into the highway side rail.

She opened her eyes and felt awake for the first time. Torn between being exhausted by the crash and exhilarated by adrenaline she clumsily clawed at her seat buckle, while calling, “Mom? Mommy?”

Her voice was alone in the night, and the air was so thick her words felt stifled. She was about to continue her calling when she heard a loud footstep, from outside the wrecked car.

She didn’t dare turn around to the figure behind her, deep down she knew not to ask for help. She could, however, see his shadow from the street lights surrounding them. It was slow and decided, bulky and intimidating. He first walked to the front passenger seat, and tore off the door. She watched in horror as he wrapped his hand around her mother's neck, and slowly tightened his grip before pressing her against the headrest and the back of the chair, raising her by her neck till she stopped squirming and deflated against his hand.

Then he walked around the car slowly, to the driver's seat. Her father hadn’t moved yet, and she didn’t know if he was playing dead or if he was dead, but he’d stayed slumped over the steering wheel since she opened her eyes. He tore off the door again, and threw him from the car. She barely refrained from crying out for him, but her only hope was to remain unseen in the back. She could hear his fists drive into her father's body, maybe he was already dead, if not he’d be close now. Finally, she heard the loud thunk of metal hitting asphalt, and he lifted her father from the ground back into the driver's seat. 

Toni squirmed to the corner of the back seat, trying to control her breathing, trying to be silent. He ripped off the back door opposite her anyways.

He peered in curiously, his face was almost familiar, despite being mostly covered up. She pushed her back further into the door, but he snatched her by her foot and dragged her out of the car. As she hit the pavement, and was dragged into the highway, she waited for his fists to hit. She covered her face as best she could, but her head and back hurt so much she couldn’t think straight.

Suddenly he stopped walking, Toni rested on the ground panting. She carefully touched the back of her head, finding her fingers covered in blood. She tried to jump back away from the murderer, but his grip on her foot was like iron. She could only pull for a few minutes before she was out of breath, and she hadn’t gained an inch. She rested on the ground a few moments, when she heard the hum of an engine nearing. 

Whoever was driving by could help her, she turned over to her stomach, twisting her ankle, and kneeled on the asphalt. “Hey!” she called out, her voice raspy but surprisingly loud, “Help me! Please help!” 

The black car approached slowly, and a slim man exited the car. He walked calmly towards them and Toni slumped back to the ground.

“солдат. что это?” Toni blinks in surprise. Soldier? The man must be with him, she decided. And he was confused.

The man holding her didn’t move when he replied, “неожиданная переменная. Дочь.”

Unexpected variable? She repeated back to herself. They didn’t know she’d be with them in the car she realized. They’d been planning to assassinate her mother and father. They had assassinated her mother and father. She began to struggle again, and the man looked towards her for a moment.

“кандидат в красную комнату?” he says coldly, she doesn’t know what the red room is, or why she’s a candidate, but she doesn’t want to find out. The soldier nods, and a few more people emerge from the car, dressed in black suits like the first man.

She cuts her hand on the rocks as she claws at the ground, trying to get away from the men surrounding her, but they grab her arms and she’s so tired she barely fights as they throw her into the back of the van that pulled up when she wasn’t looking.

One of them gets in the back with her, and she slides her back against the walls of the car. He has a handcuff, and before she can pull away, he snaps it shut around her wrist, and drags her to the side of the van where a little metal ring sticks out of the wall. He hops out of the back once she's secured to the wall, and starts to shut the door. Her voice is so hoarse at that point she barely screeches when the doors slam shut.

She stays awake as long as she can, but even in the awkward position she’s in, she eventually gives in to exhaustion. The van was eerie and uncomfortable, the floor was unfinished and the wall was cold. She was shaken awake by a silent man, and she could feels the creases on her face from leaning against the wall.

He motioned her out the back of the van after he cuffed her. The second her feet hit the ground she moved to run, but two large men stood on either side of her, and grabbed her arms. 

“Hey!” She cried, “Let me go!” They lifted her up and started to move. She couldn’t see much since the sun was right in her eyes, but she could smell freshly cut grass and gasoline. Finally, as she stoped squirming, she could make out a long stretch of road ahead of her, a landing strip she thought to herself.

“No!” She started yelling again and the men tighten their grip, “Take me back!” 

One of her kidnappers remarked, “We’re going to need it after all.”

She kicked furiously as they brought her to the side of the plane, but she was determined not to let herself fit through the little door, when woman in a suit approached, “This will make it easier for all of us trust me sweetheart.” 

Her smile was thin and fake, and it gave Toni a slimy uneasy feeling. She then reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a square cloth. Toni couldn’t flinch away when she pressed the towelette to her mouth and nose, it stung only a little, but Toni was burning with anger when the world got darker, and the faces surrounding her faded.

She woke up startled yet again. She was sitting slumped over a bench in the back of a wagon.

“What the-” she started, across from her sat two men in suits, giving her a severe look that said, go ahead. Try and run, give us an excuse to shoot you.

Instead, she sat up straight and looked around, they seemed to be going through a small village. She could see women wearing handmade dresses, and others wearing jeans, it was like a bad decade party. “Where am I?” She asked,

“Don’t ask any questions, and don’t speak English. We don’t want to attract attention girl.”

She furrowed her brow, “Где я?” she repeated,

He narrowed his eyes in response, “Россия.” He answered finally. Russia.

The wagon took a sharp turn, nearly pushing Toni off her bench, suddenly it went at such an incline, Toni snapped her head to see what was up the hill.

There stood a large mansion looking house, made of a grey brick it seemed like there was more of it, that hadn’t stood the test of time. 

She wanted to ask what it was, and where she was going, but the grim faces of the suits told her silence was her best bet.

The wagon finally pulled into the driveway of the mansion, and they got out of the back. The first man gave the driver some coins, and they stood outside a moment while he drove away. 

“Follow him.” He said, and the second man went down the steep path after the driver.

“What is he doing? Why is he going back to the-” She’s cut off by the unmistakable sound of a gunshot, followed by the terrified whinny of a horse, she turns to the remaining man with her, 

“You killed him!” she cries

“He saw too much.” the man remarked coldly, “Come now, Madame is not one to keep waiting.”

She only curls her fingers and her toes in anger and frustration. The hill's too steep and long for a getaway, and they know it. No one holds her down anymore, they’ve already caged her in. 

Inside the large mansion, girls filter in and out the doors. It almost looks like a boarding school, they’re all wearing uniforms, and a few carry books, but the image is ruined by the details. Most of them look like they’ve been crying, a few have bruises up and down their limbs, and all of them have an angry red mark around their left hand. 

“What is this?” Toni remarks, “Who are we going to see?”

The man looks at her a moment, “You ask too many questions.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t if I had a few answers.” She replies

“Madame will answer everything.” He says simply,

He walks down the halls with purpose, and never pauses a moment to consider which identical corridor to take, he must be familiar with this place. He ignores the questions she pesters him with for the rest of their walk. Finally, she follows him silently, till he stops outside a large set of wooden doors. 

He doesn’t say anything, just looks down at her, and she pauses a moment before pushing one of the heavy doors open. When she turns to look back, he’s already making his way down the hallway.

“Hello darling.” She snaps to attention, and turns to the front. A tall blond woman sits on a heavy black desk. Everything about her is pointy, her bones almost poke out, her dress sticks out to a triangle, and especially the sharp high heels she taps on the ground.

“I’ve been waiting to see you, and I must say I’m not disappointed. Beautiful, and a reputation for intelligence, you really are the perfect candidate.”

“I’m no candidate, take me back and maybe I won’t tell them everything I’ve learned about you people.”

She pauses a moment, then laughing she says, “Black mail? How sweet. It’s been a while since I’ve been blackmailed, you make an old woman feel young again.”

Toni furrows her brows, “It’s past eight am, we’re in Russia, probably one of the only villages in the area. You used a mixture of chloroform and other sleep inducers for the plane ride here.”

“Pray tell, how do you know these things?” She asks

“I always eat at six, judging by how hungry I am, I’ve missed two meals. The men wouldn’t let me speak English because I would draw attention, but I was allowed to speak Russian. From my knowledge of Russia, most settlements are big clusters of cities, or lone villages. And I’m mildly allergic to chloroform, it gives me a stomach ache.” 

She shouldn’t have told her that, but Toni had always been a proud little girl, Madame must’ve seen it in her.

“How clever.” She says, “But there’s a major flaw in your plan. I don’t allow candidates to escape.”

Toni swallows hard, steeling her nerves, “They’ll be looking for me.”

“Maybe.” She says, “Or maybe they’ll assume your body was burned away along with your parents in the terrible car accident, that resulted in a huge fire engulfing the car.”

“There was no accident.” Toni said, “You killed him. That man killed him.”

“The man?” Madame said, “What man?”

“He was tall and scary. He held onto my leg and wouldn’t let go.”

“Listen to me. Did he have a metal arm?” She said, finally standing up from the desk, 

She tried to remember what he looked like, but all she could remember where his wild blue eyes, they looked terrified and terrifying at the same time. 

“I don’t know.” Toni replied

“Useless girl.” She said, turning towards her desk, laying her hands flat, “Did they call him something?”

“Yes.” Toni said, “In Russian, they called him the soldier.”

She whipped around again, “The soldier? So you did meet him.”

“Meet who?” Toni said again, “What was he?”

“He’s perfection. The product of Hydra sciences and Red Room psychology, they engineered the perfect soldier.”

“Red Room? Like this?” Toni said, 

“I suppose they let that slip too.” Madame said

Toni nodded, and Madame smiled, “I have something to tell you. An offer. Leave your life behind, swear loyalty and you will be rewarded. Submit or be submitted.”

“I’ll never go willingly. Never.” Toni said, “I don’t work with murderers.”

“Oh good, I was hoping you’d say that.” She pressed a small button on the corner of the desk, and two men entered the room behind her.

“Take her to the machine.” They grabbed her arms, and lifted her off the ground as she kicked and pulled.

They took her down a short hallway to a dark room with a single chair surrounded by tables. 

They set her down and clamped both her shoulders to the back, while forcing the arm restraints around her wrists.

Madame strolled in moments later, holding a manila folder with a stack of white papers, she seemingly read it aloud, “Antoinette Stark. Born 1985, to Maria and Howard Stark, heir to Stark Industries and it’s fortune. Gifted in mathematics, and coding, IQ 146.” She closes it suddenly and drops the folder on the table next to her. 

“And now she doesn’t exist.”

With one swift movement, Madame pushes a large metal cap over Toni’s head, and flips a small switch near the control board. She can’t see anything for a moment, it’s all white.

It doesn’t hurt at first. She feels a slight buzz at the top of her head, on the tips of her ears and fingers. Then the buzzing turns to a burning and a pounding. She screams in anguish and looks up to see one woman standing in front of her smiling.

“Hello?” She says, her voice is unfamiliar,

“Hi Antonia.” The woman replies,

“Antonia?” She says, “My name is-”

“Antonia Sobol. Daughter of Henrik and Marzia Sobol, who recently lost their jobs and sold two of their daughters to the Nazran Olive House. To be slaves, whores.”

“I don’t think that’s-”

“We managed to save you, thank goodness, your sister Ursula was less fortunate.” She gestured behind her, where two men in black suits wheeled away a gurney covered with a grey cloth, presumably carrying her sister. 

As she stared at the retreating men, she felt nothing for her sister. Was she a monster then? 

“I don’t remember.” Antonia replied

“You must’ve suffered a head injury in your escape. Don’t fret darling, the Red Room will help you grow so you’ll never hurt again.”

“Never again?” Antonia replied, she didn’t trust the stranger, but she could recall the sensation of a slap across the face as tears ran down her cheeks, “Please please please, I’m sorry.” She felt the memory like it’d just happened seconds ago, but it was like one piece of a puzzle, and she was missing the rest. 

The lady smiled, “I am your mentor now, you may call me Madame.”

“Why am I here?” Antonia asks, “What is this place?”

“You’ve been identified as a gifted young lady, and this is a school to hone your skills so you may serve.”

“What type of skills?” Antonia asks

“All sorts.” She says, and starts unstrapping the restraints on her arms, why are there restraints on her arms? Before she can ask, Madame says, “You’ll learn world history, science, math, literature, and of course the feminine tricks, seduction and hand to hand combat.”

Antonia gets up from the chair and looks around the otherwise deserted room, it seems to go on forever with the only exit right behind Madame. 

“I’ve left you a change of clothes on the table to the far left, be quick and come this way when you’re done.” She turns on her heel, and leaves Antonia in the room.

Despite her instructions Antonia lingers beside the grouping of tables. She quickly identified her change of clothes and put them on, but most of the others are filled with tools a dentist might use. 

She doesn’t remember ever going to the dentist, but she knows what they are. How strange it is having so much knowledge yet no experiences. 

Suddenly her eyes land on the only table not crowded with metal tools, on it lies a few yellow folders, stuffed with papers. She picks up the one on top and considers opening it, before she places it neatly back on the stack.

She turns to leave when she remembers being dragged somewhere. It’s like a dream, but it’s clear, Madame led a few men to the tables with her in tow, and then nothing. Like it all disappeared from her brain, she gives herself a headache just thinking about it.

She turns back to the folders and flips open the first one. A familiar girl’s picture is paper clipped neatly to the front, she knows it’s her. Part of the writing is in Russian, which she seems to understand.

“Antoinette Stark...Toni?” She repeats out loud, “Maria and Howard, exterminated.”

No mention of Ursula, no mention of the whore house or Nazram. It’s all been lies. She’s not safe. A moment after the realization sets in, she loses her breaths, tears start to pool in her eyes and she can’t stop them from tipping over and running down her face.

“No.” She says, stabilizing herself on the table, “I can’t break. That’s what they want.”

She looks over the rest of the file, word by word she figures out what they’ve done to her, and what they’ve taken. Brainwashing, mind erasure. By the end of the page she’s seething, but capable of wiping the tears from her face and walking out the door.

Madame scoffs at the sight of her, “Have trouble putting on your clothes?”

“I was just thinking of dear Ursula.” Toni remarks, “Do you think she knew what was happening in her final moments?”

“Darling, I’m sure she knew she was safe with us, and felt comfortable.” Madame starts down the hall,

“I don’t think she did, I think she was scared. Terrified.”

“Maybe.” Madame says, “Why do you bring this up?”

“Because I’ll never be like her again.” Toni says, “I’ll never hurt again. Right?”

Madame smiles cautiously. “Of course.” 

Toni smiles sweetly, “This way?” and without waiting for a response she starts down the hallway. 

She’s done being led.


	2. May 25th, 1994

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These kinds of works are a BITCH to write, so if you have any comments, positive or constructive criticism, leave it below!

Date: May 25, 1994  
Time: 1000  
Asset: Unnamed Candidate  
Target: Antonia Sobol

It’s cold most days, snows a lot. Toni’s only seen snow a few times before she thinks. 

The building is cold too, and the sheets she was issued are thin and worthless, so she sleeps on top of them to avoid frantically making her bed before inspection every morning.

At night they cuff her hands to the wiry metal headboard, just like all the other girls. After a few weeks of this, she has an angry red band around her wrist just like everyone else.

But that’s where the similarities end. 

There are five pools of girls in schooling at the moment, all training to be that last girl standing, the one who gets a code name, missions, and most importantly: freedom. 

The selection process was explained to her in her first week. Do what we say, be smart, strong and perfect in every way, and maybe you’ll survive. 

All the other girls treated it like a game, a contest. Whoever won a sparring session got high fives, the best hackers tutored the other girls. They hadn’t seen what she’d seen, they didn’t know how close they were to dying at any moment.

They say she took it too seriously, she couldn’t take a joke. She was too small and weak, so she’d be asked to leave any day now. Eliminations didn’t start until year fourteen, but despite being nine, she was placed three years ahead of her age. 

Partially because the last age group was only six, and partially because of her high intelligence.

She wished she was an airhead, who couldn’t tell calculus from quantum physics, because the only thing her ‘gifted mind’ was getting her now was a death sentence.

They teased her about what she’d do when she finally lost, where she’d go. Her spine shivered at the thought, and her face got tight, settling in a grimace to stop tears from spilling down her cheeks. 

No weakness. None. 

The weak were disposable, canon fodder, pawns. She needed to be a knight, or a rook, or better yet, a queen.

So she embraced ruthlessness. 

She went to eight classes everyday, learning everything from astrophysics to studying literature, to learning two languages at once. The other girls were behind her, and they hated her for it. Everyone knew and spoke English, her Instructors told her it was the ‘universal language’ and next year they would work on perfecting their American, British and Australian accents.

“Why do we need to?” one girl in the front of the class said, and Toni scoffed to herself,

“Ms. Orlov, if you ever plan to go on a successful mission, I suggest you at least attempt to mask your atrocious accent.” She replied

The Orlov girl, Kayta Toni thought, looked down at her feet a moment and said nothing, so the Instructor went on with her lesson, explaining the phonetics of French and Bulgarian to them.

She already knew three languages, Spanish, Russian, and of course English. Most of them were Russian or were at least Slavic. She knew there were rumors about her, how she was ashamed her heritage so she pretended to be an American. They acted as if her being American, or posing as an American, meant she thought she was better than them.

Most nights they talked about her, once the Instructors left them in the great big hall filled with beds, they all lay on their backs and whispered, gossiped. Not always about her, but usually someone would chime in with a comment on her hair, or some ‘totally weird’ thing she’d done in class that day.

Maybe they didn’t know her bed was three down from theirs, or maybe they didn’t care.

She couldn’t hold back anything though. Not if she wanted to get out. Showing the Instructors she cared, meant showing them that she was unnecessary.

When it all came to a head, she knew what she’d done, she regretted nothing.

Instructor Kozlov took particular joy in playing a little game during morning roll call. She’d switch languages nearly every sentence, and her victim would be forced to respond in said language instantaneously or suffer the consequences. They ranged from losing an hour of sleep in the morning, to receiving lashes on her wrists.

“Good morning, candidates.” She said, smiling widely at the terrided line of faces. Twelve girls stand at attention. Toni was third to last in line, and certainly going to get a question. The other girls hadn’t figured Kozlov out, they didn’t know her routine.

She cycled through them in four weeks, week one she starts with Spanish or French, then English, then Mandarin or Korean, once and a while Japanese, and finish it off with Czech or Hungarian. Her other cycles consisted of mostly the same, just shuffled. And Toni memorized it, by heart.

“Quel temps fait-il Markov?” She started easy with the weather. Markov, the first girl in line was short and plump. They hadn’t started combat training yet, but she’d be in a world of trouble when they did. 

“Neige.” Snow. Markov responded quickly, albeit not very impressively.

Kozlov let it go and moved to the next girl, “What book is your literature class reading at the moment?” She asked in a perfect American accent, the girl being question blinked a moment, not for lack of understanding. They’d studied English extensively, but since Kozlov had asked in an American accent, that’s how Klara, the girl, has to reply.

Toni knew for a fact she was much better at British accents, which she had no doubt Kozlov knew too. 

“The Merchant of Venice.” Klara replied clunkily, over pronouncing Merchant and pretty much missing the entirety of the word Venice, she’d never pass for an American. Kozlov’s lips tighten into a frown, but it’s for show, deep down she’s pleased. 

“그 책에 대해 말해줘?” The Instructor asks, Klara wasn’t any good at Korean, none of them were, since they’d only started learning it a few weeks ago. So asking Klara to summarize the book just wasn’t fair.

Klara steeled herself a moment, before answering, “한 남자가 친구에게 돈을주고 아내를 얻는다.” Surprising articulate, Toni thought to herself, “A man gives money to a friend to get a wife.” wasn’t the most detailed response, but she doubted she could do much better herself.

Kozlov nodded, and moved on to the next girl in line. She skipped a girl every few questions, but Toni knew she wouldn’t be missed. Kozlov had a special hatred from her, she didn’t know why.

Finally she came to Toni, already gone through the cycle, she came back to English, but with a Russian accent. “Tell my about your home.” Kozlov said.

Toni blinked, they weren’t supposed to talk about life before the Red Room. Maybe she was just forcing out a detailed response, because she knew Toni’s Russian accent was no good. Perhaps she wanted to expose that she wasn’t Russian at all, and isolate her even more.

“I don’t remember my home.” She said, in a poor accent, it sounded like a bad parody of a Russian accent. The girls on either side of her turn to look at each other. 

Kozlov begins to ask another question, when Madame strides towards her, “That is quite enough Kozlov.”

The Instructor turns towards her, “Madame. I’m sorry is something the matter?”

All she gets is a severe look, “Come by my office later today, I’ll take over from here.”

Kozlov nods, and takes off down the narrow hallway, towards the classrooms and away from the sleeping area.

“Kozlov will not be in charge of your roll call from now on. I will do it today, and perhaps tomorrow, then a new Instructor will be assigned.”

The girls say nothing and Madame takes it as acceptance.

“Things will be changing ladies. The program will be moved up for you.” No one dares ask why, but Madame answers anyways, “Mother Russia is in need of strong women to protect her. Eliminations will not be early, but combat will start tomorrow, no more sparring. Espionage will start in six months.”

The girls murmur to each other a moment before remembering themselves. Toni stands, back straight, eyes at attention. She doesn’t even blink and Madame notices, giving her a soft smile. 

 

“Loyalty is freedom, work is peace.” Madame starts, the girls respond, “We’re all daughters of Russia, our mission is to serve.”

Madame nods, “Let us go.”

The rest of the day Toni numbs herself. She goes through classes like a vegetable, answer only a few questions, and trying to ignore the whispers of her classmates.

“Are you ready for tomorrow Sobol?” One says, “I’ve been looking forward to kicking your ass for a while now.”

“Because I’ve been destroying you in physics and astronomy for a year?”

The girl, Tania she thinks, kicked the back of her chair, “Wow, that really hurt. I’m shaking.”

Tania sat back in her seat, smiling. Maybe she saw through Toni’s act. She really was shaking.

“I’ll wipe that smug grin off your face tomorrow.”

“Maybe if you spent less time thinking about my ass and smile, you wouldn’t be so stupid.” Toni said, before Tania could respond, the class ended and she scurried out of the room.

Tania was right. The other girls, even the fat and weak one, were bigger than her. They were all three years older, giving them an advantage, plus they’d had extra years practicing unstructured sparring. But the difference between sparring and combat training was vast.

She was agile, small boned and unassuming. Anyone looking at her could tell she didn’t know how to fight. She could use it, get stronger, learn all the moves in secret, and then take them by surprise.

She spends her hour of free time in an empty classroom, usually she holds up in the library, but today she hooks her feet under the heavy desk, and practices sits ups. She does it till she can’t and her abdomen burns and aches. Then she starts push ups.

Her arms go quicker than her core, so she takes off her shoes, and ties up her hair and starts jumping jacks. Her legs ache, and her stomach shoots pain, but she goes till she’s done a hundred.

She takes a break, only a few minutes, till she clears the perimeter of the classroom and starts running laps. Thrifty, sixty, ninety, till she collapses on a desk

It’s ten minutes after the hour break, she’s late for lunch. No one will notice her missing, so she heads to the shower and her body aches under the cold water.

The Instructors are tight lipped and agitated the next morning. Breakfast is quiet and quick, the other girls sensing the Instructors change in attitude too. 

After breakfast, they silently led the twelve girls down the narrow hallways, past the doors, they were usually told to stop at. The girls in the front of the line paused at them a moment, before continuing with the Instructor. 

Finally they arrived at a strange looking door. It was clear enough to see blurred shapes and giant streaks of light, but everything had a white film over it. 

“In here, wait to be issued your uniforms.”

Uniforms? Toni thought to herself, the girls around her exchanged glances but no one dared to question, they filed into through the door one by one till all the girls stood in a line in the studio.

Huge windows stood opposite them, letting in magnificent natural light from the rising sun over the mountain tops. All across the perimeter of the room were wooden bars fastened to the walls, a few propped up bars on wheels sat in the corner. And behind them was a full length mirror, covering everything but the last foot of the wall where the door was.

It was magnificent and spotless, unlike most other things in the Red Room.

A woman stood in the corned between the door and the wall, and watched the girls walk in, she held a large black bag behind her, that swung as she approached them.

“Hello. My name is Instructor Zma, I will be teaching you combat.”

Toni was confused, which was a rare occurrence for her. This was obviously a ballet studio, not a boxing ring like she’d been expecting.

“You might be wondering how ballet translates to the refined act of murder.” Her smile was thin and frightening, “But you will find out soon enough.”

She made them line up next to the mirror before she began again, this time studying each of us a moment, “I will now issue the uniform you will be expected to care for and be wearing at every class. She held up a small black leotard, and loose ballet slippers.”

“You are in charge of keeping it clean, and well cared for.”

She handed out the leotards, and Toni worried hers would be too small, as she remembers no measurements being taken, and she wouldn’t fit into the same one as Klara.

Then she lifted a pair of large pink shoes in the air, after giving out the leotards, “These are Pointe shoes, professional ballerinas use them. I expect you all to be able to use them in no less than one years time.”

The girls silently watched, as she slipped the shoes back into the black bag, she looked up at them, “Well? Get changed.”

In a flurry of movement, all the girls shed their plaid skirts and button up shirts, and slipped on the black leotard, it pulled at Toni’s thighs in an uncomfortable way, and she saw other girls picked at the hemline of theirs too.

Zma quickly put a stop to it with the flick of her wrist, she knocked the hand of a girl picking at her leotard, and she cried out.

“You will not touch your bodies while you dance.”

No one said a word, but in the back a normally quiet girl, Lara, raises her hand.

“How will this teach us to fight, Instructor?” She said in a small voice. She was a tiny thing, about as big as Toni. She looked like a dancer already, with delicate features and graceful arms.

Zma smiled, “Vasilla?” She said, and Lara nodded, “Espionage and combat are nothing without grace. The only thing more graceful than a ballerina is a wild dove.”

She turned away from Lara, and scanned the group before her eyes set on Toni. “Sobol? Come.”

Toni walked up at a reluctant pace and Zma waved her hand impatiently. She positioned Toni in front of the girls, “There are three things you want the audience to focus on during a dance,” she gestured to her face, her fingers tracing the sharp bone of Toni’s jaw, “the face,” she began, then she moved down the her hips and set both hands lightly on top her her pelvic bones, “The end of your torso,” and finally she gestured down to her neatly tied ballet flats, “And of course the feet.”

Toni’s hand rested on her back, when Zma snatched them, “They should never think of your hands, or what’s in them for that matter.” She tapped Toni on the back as if to say ‘you’re done now.’

“Let’s start with the positions.” She went the five most basic positions, and had every girl go through them twenty times each before she was satisfied, then they all did them in unison another dozen times till they got that right.

Toni could barely feel the muscles in her leg, by the end of class, and she still had formal schooling to complete.

At the end of the day, her muscles ached and all she wanted to do was fall into the thin bed. Instead, during their dinner break, she searched for another empty classroom.

There were a few lining the halls in the back of the building, and she started her routine.

It took weeks for her to notice a single change. It wasn’t as if she could suddenly lift weights with ease, or run for hours. But she could feel the tightness of her legs, and the hard bumps on her stomach, of newly forming abs. 

When the other girls struggled to stay on their toes in ballet class, Toni’s calf muscles never wavered. She could stretch, and bend, like she’d never been able to before.

It’s just in time too, because Zma announces their first sparring match, the following day.

Tania claims her as an opponent instantly, and the others pair up haphazardly, too nervous to strategically choose. None of them seem to know their own weaknesses or their classmates strengths. None of them seem to care.

Tania is an easy one. All brawn, little brain. Before her private sessions, she’d have been snapped like a twig, but since she been working on muscle, despite not showing it, if she could get Tania riled up and out of breath quickly, it wouldn’t take much to knock her off balance.

The fight happened two afternoons later. They changed out of their ballet uniforms, and into tight spandex shorts, and loose camisoles. Both of them braided their hair into buns, wore mouth guards and non stick sneakers.

“I’d like you to show me what’ve you’ve learned from me so far. The first girl to go on Pointe will probably be victorious today.”

The presumption sent murmurs through the group, and Toni almost didn’t notice the Instructor call her and Tania’s name. 

“Come on Sobol.” She said, grabbing Toni’s wrist and sharply pulling her onto the mats, “it’s too late to back out now.”

Toni only smiled, and tried to focus on Tania’s weaknesses. Strong legs, weak arms, too arrogant, easily riled. She repeated the mantra, and hoped Tania wasn’t doing the same for her.

The first punch was thrown, and Toni tasted blood, she spit out the slimy mixture and took a deep breath before going in for her own offense. 

But Tania was better than she looked, with a grin she slid just out of the way, and caught Toni from behind with another hit.

Toni whirled around, flashing a toothy, probably bloody smile, she said, “Figures you’d need to run away to land a hit.”

“Didn’t have to run to knock the smirk of you.”

“What do you call this then?” She beamed again, and went for a right hook that landed with a satisfy crunch, but Tania was all laughs when she recovered, “Can’t talk your way out of this one Sobol, I’m bigger and stronger, and I’ll end you.”

“Promises promises.” Toni sang, stepping around the older girl in a circle, “Doing a lot of talking for someone who wants to fight.”

“Famous last words.” 

She ducked as Tania surged, her, throwing her body at her legs and knocking her off balance for just a moment. But it was enough.

Tania grunted as she tried to refocus, and Toni swept her legs down in one fell swoop. She fell to the ground, landing on her arm splayed out.

Her face turned red, maybe with anger maybe embarrassment. She shot up like a firecracker and charged Toni again. This time it was too much, she was a steam engine and Toni was the damsel tied to the tracks. If Zma hadn’t stepped in and caught Tania inches from Toni, she would’ve been knocked to the ground, and probably pummeled.

“That’s quite enough.” Zma said, “You’ve been knocked down Ms. Utkyn.”

“That’s not fair!” she cried, “Give me another go! Let me destroy her.”

Zma gave her an amused look, but shook her head, “I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I’ve explained the rules many times. One knock down is all that is required to win a match at this time. Multiple rounds of fighting will be introduced later, I promise.”

Tania cursed the Instructor under her breath, along with Toni and the spectators, if Zma heard it, she didn’t show. 

“Well done, Ms. Sobol.” She said quietly to Toni, “Can anyone explain what Ms. Utkyn did wrong?”

The remaining ten girls stared at her wide eyes a moment, before a petite girl, Lidia, raised her hand. “Did she rely too much on her larger size?”

“Yes.” Zma nodded, “It’s easy to knock big things off balance, and even easier to tire them out. That’s why you are all being instructed in the art of ballet. Elegance and grace are just as important as brute strength.”

Tania scoffed, but no one argued with the Instructor. She took their silence as acceptance and led them to the next class. 

Toni took one look back towards the mats. Maybe she could survive, maybe if she never failed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going through a bit of writers block at the moment, and schools been HEcKing rOugh so if y'all could give me a bit of encouragement, it'll going a long long way! Thanks!


	3. April 4th, 1996

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this gets dark, you've been warned, but then again what do you expect out of a Red Room fic? Please leave a comment below, they give me life, even one word literally makes my day. Thanks a billion to my beta! Could do it without ya!

Date: April 4th, 1996  
Time: 0800  
Asset: Unnamed Candidate  
Target: Antonia Sobol

The hardest part of her life was lying. Everything was a lie. 

She didn’t remember anything. A common one, Toni had to announce this weekly, sometimes daily, to her classmates and Instructors. 

It made her a target, girls often said she was given away, or sold. That’s the lie she’d been told, so she never rebuffed their taunts for fear of revealing too much. 

She missed one or two meals a day, spending her minimal off time in an empty classroom doing crunches and pushups. Despite being relatively small, at only eleven and surrounded by fourteen year olds, she had considerable muscle mass at this point. 

She was chosen last in sparring and fights due to that fact and many others, one of which being her unpopularity with the commander of her class, Tania. 

Whoever got in Tania’s bad graces during the week was exiled to fight Toni at the end of it. She almost always beat them, they got laughed at, and then they kissed ass till they were back on her good side.

This week, poor Nika Lupu, a tall, slender girl with lovely black hair, who excelled in history and science, spilled her lunch all over the table on Monday. 

It got on Tania’s skirt. 

No matter what she did all week, Tania wouldn’t even look at her. It was a given that she was stuck with Toni for fighting on Friday.

They all stood in pairs practicing together before the spar. Nika blandly held up the boxing target for Toni to hit, saying nothing.

Sometimes Tania’s victims would trash talk her. Usually loudly so Tania would hear.

Nika looked so sad though, Toni almost wanted to let her win so she’d perk up a bit. It was depressing to watch her go through the motions.

“Bad week?” Toni said finally, and Nika looked at her surprised, as if she forgot Toni was there.

“Yeah.” She said, and Toni thought she’d leave it at that but she continued, “I couldn’t eat lunch all week. Tania said if I acted like a toddler, I couldn’t sit at the big girls’ table.”

“That sucks.” Toni said, tapping lighter punches on the pads so she could talk, “I’m sorry Tania treats you like that. All of you.”

Nika’s brow furrows, “She’s not that bad. What would you know about it?”

She drops the pads, and holds out her hands, “Let’s switch, I’m tired of holding these.”

Toni slips off the gloves, and pulls the pads onto her palms, barely in time to cover them before Nika starts hitting. She hits hard, and has good form and posture, but she puts too much into each punch. She’ll tire herself out like that.

“What would I know?” Toni says finally, Nika had to take a break for a second, “ I’ve been Tania Utkyn’s personal punching bag since I was eight.”

“It’s not like you don’t punch back Sobol.” Nika says, starting to hit again, this time slower and more focused, “And you got here in year eleven.”

Toni paused a moment, “I was eight when I started here.”

Nika drops her arms. “You’re eleven?”

Toni nods, and Nika starts hitting again, “That….that makes a lot of sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re much smaller than us, always have been.” She starts, “Some girls here are petite, but you always looked younger. Besides, you’re much less… developed.”

Toni blushes, “Gee thanks.”

“It’s not a bad thing.” Nika says, “I mean Tania brings it up a lot. She says you’re secretly a boy.”

Toni scoffs, “She’s secretly a goat.”

Nika laughs, and the room goes quiet a moment. She turns to Tania and makes eye contact that says it all. Tania looks furious, the whisper start again in a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

“I’m sorry.” Toni says, “I didn’t mean to make the Tania situation worse.”

Nika pauses, “It’s ok. Maybe she is a goat.”

The spar was quick and easy. Toni let Nika get a few hits in early on, but it was a clean sweep at the end. Eighty two wins, fifteen losses. 

She skips dinner that day, opting to go to her favorite abandoned classroom in the lone wing. She starts off with push ups, then squats. She’s been working on holding handstands since last June, because she thinks it’ll help her with ballet. 

She’d had a leg up since they started nearly two years ago, literally and metaphorically. Not only her daily workouts that built up muscle tone, but also her small figure and petitie look. She was one of the girls in her class who actually looked like a ballerina.

It’d been satisfying to try on Pointe shoes first. The satisfaction wore off when she tried to use them. Her toes bled most nights, she had to clean the shoes herself. 

Tania was second to reach Pointe shoes, so the teacher often made them do duets together. 

Tania spent her practice time knotting Toni’s laces, or pulling down her skirt when she wasn’t looking. Toni spent her practice time practicing, which showed whenever they actually performed.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long till another girl, Svetlana, got on Pointe, Katya and Lidia followed her. Now only Nika and Lara weren’t using Pointe shoes.

Toni finished working out faster than normal, she started to pack up her stuff and return to the sleeping quarters when she hears the shuffle of footsteps. 

“Antonia?” A familiar voice calls out from the hallway, her first instinct is to crouch behind a table till she goes away, but she steels her nerves and pokes out of the door, “Nika?”

Nika looks smaller in the dark hallway, more lost. Her eyes are as round as saucers when she sees Toni.

“Antonia Sobol!” She says, “I’d be mad if I wasn’t so happy to see you!”

She strides to Toni, “What are you doing here?” Toni says,

“What am I doing here?” Nika says, breathlessly, “What are you doing here?”

“I come here sometimes. During lunch, and dinner.”

“I tried to follow you. Tania’s not letting me sit down in the mess hall, so I figure I’d hang with you, but you weren’t in the library, and I saw you go down one of these hallways once, but then I got lost.”

“Well you found me.” Toni said, she grabbed her small bag and made out the door towards Nika, “Woah, where are you going?” She peers in the room, “What’re you doing here?”

“Nothing.” Toni says, “Let’s go, dinner will be over soon.”

“They called a class meeting, dinner is extended till all the others are finished.”

Toni blinked, “Why?”

“They didn’t say.”

They stood there a moment in silence. Nika broke it, “What are you doing here? Is this where you go during meals.”

Toni said, “Yeah. It’s quiet. I like to work out here sometimes.”

“Workout?” Nika says, “Is that why you’re so good in ballet class, and sparring?”

“Maybe.” Toni replies a little smile playing on her lips, “You think I’m that good at ballet?”

“Of course!” Nika says, “You’re the best in class. Tania talks a big game, but she’s jealous. You should’ve heard her the night you started Pointe.”

“Really? What’d she say?”

“A lot of things. Most of it’s making fun of you for stupid stuff, like your accent, or ‘amnesia’. Some of it though, she was disappointed in herself. She broke her toe the next day getting herself on Pointe.”

“She broke her toe?” Toni said incredulously, “She never said anything.”

“She was afraid they’d take her off.” Nika says, “Nothing's worse than not being on Pointe she says.” She glances at her feet a second, “Maybe it’s for the best I’ve been thrown out of her group.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, I’m obviously not going to be the final candidate.” Nika says, “I was chosen from my town. My parents wanted to send my brother Dima to school. They were given a fair amount for me, my sister was less lucky.”

“Where’d she go?” Toni says

“She’s an indentured servant in Moscow. They used to let me send her letters, but they stopped after year six. I haven’t heard from her or anyone in my family since.”

“What do you mean you won’t be the last candidate Nika?” Toni said finally, “You’re amazing in class. Maybe you aren’t the best at sparring right now, but there’s only room for improvement.”

Nika paused, not responding. “How did you come here?”

Toni brows furrow. “I don’t remember.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can’t make you believe me.” Toni says, looking away.

“You can tell the truth.”

“I don’t know what’s true.” Toni says, her head hurts trying to remember. All she can see are flashes of a life she lost, that feel more like dreams. “They did something to me.”

“What did they tell you when you got here?”

“They told me my name.”

“You didn’t know your own name?” Nika says, stepping closer,

“No. I remembered being dragged into a room, strapped down to a machine, it hurt so badly and when I woke up, everything was almost blank.” She pauses, “But they lied. They said my parents were Henrik and Marzia. That they sold me. And my name was Antonia. But I saw my file on a table nearby and read everything written about me. That’s all I know.” 

“What did they write about you?”

“That I was American.” Nika exhales sharply, “My parents were assassinated. I remember that a little. I can see a man choking my mother to death, but that’s all. And they said I was a genius, my IQ was 146. That’s why they placed me ahead of my age, I think.”

“The youngest class at the time was only six right? You were too ahead.” Nika says, 

“I guess.” Toni shrugs

“We should go. We’ll be late.”

They don’t talk as they trail down the abandoned corridors, no secret were left to fill the silence.

They were late, just a little. But enough to get a scolding from the Instructor and a glib look from Tania and her pack of ghouls.

The Instructor, Matveev, starts the class meeting like any other, 

“Loyalty is freedom, work is peace.” 

”We’re all daughters of Russia, our mission is to serve.” They recite in unison.

“As you all know eliminations are a crucial part of our program. Weeding out the weak and unloyal is what makes for the best possible assets.”

A murmur travels through the group, Toni hears a whisper, “Someone’s going home.”

Her gut sinks. They still don’t know. Elimination means exactly what it sounds like. One of them won’t leave this room alive. Just like Madame said, she doesn’t let candidates escape.

She scans the room, wondering who’ll go. Maybe she will, it would be a twist, but it wouldn’t hurt class morale nearly as much as a more popular candidate’s death would. A reasonable choice for elimination.

“Some of you are not as advanced as other.” Matveev says, “And that makes you a liability. Would anyone here like to prove they are not weak and therefore not expendable?”

Toni searches the room, no one reacts for a moment and Toni wonders if they’ll just kill anyone who raises their hand.

Tania slowly looks around, seeing no one else volunteer, she steps forward, but unassuming Svetlana beats her to the punch.

“I am not weak.” She declares, casting her gaze towards the rest of the group.

“And therefor, not expendable.” Matveev smiles, “Unlike Svetlana, two of you are expendable.”

She looks to the remaining eleven girls, before her eyes settle on Lara Vasilla. “Vasilla. Come here.”

Lara stands up, her legs are shaking so hard, it takes her a moment to walk towards them. Matveev gestures to a chair next to her, and Lara sits down, her legs shaking. She takes two straps of duck tape around Lara’s wrists.

“What’s going on Instructor?” Lara asks in a small voice, she doesn’t dare look up at the woman.

“Shhh. Your sacrifice is for Mother Russia.”

“My.. my sacrifice?” Lara repeats. Matveev doesn’t answer, and turns to Svetlana who’s face has taken on an ashen quality. 

She hands her a small black pistol from the table, and gives her instructions, “Kill her.”

The whole group goes silent. For just a moment. Svetlana barks back, “What?”

Lara begins to wail and plead. Tears are running down her face in seconds, and she flung her body forwards and backwards with each wail.

Svetlana takes the gun in her hands shaking, and Matveev says, “If you can’t kill her, then you’re weak too.” Svetlana’s face hardens, “I am not. You can’t kill me.”

“We can kill anyone.”

The girls go quiet again, only Lara continues to wail and break the restraints on her arms. She begins to apologize and beg for a chance. 

Svetlana shuffles towards her, gun cocked, she holds it steady against Lara’s head, and she goes silent, whimpering softly, “Please God, please forgive me. I’m sorry God. I don’t want to die, I don’t want-”

The gunshot cuts her off. It rings throughout the hall. Lara’s body slumps over itself, and a spray of blood covers Svetlana, and a few girls close to her.

They all stare at her. No one moves till Matveev orders them to their beds.

No one talks that night. 

No one gossips. 

They sleep restlessly, and get up silently. As a class they move together, but like zombies. It’s Tania that talks first. “Get out of my way Sobol.”

Toni looks down to her feet, not responding. She doesn’t have the energy. She strides out of the mess hall right through the doorway where they killed Lara. She skips breakfast and lunch that day. Classes go by, and she spars well. No one feels quite right. There’s an odd number of girls now.

That night, as they make their way to their sleeping quarters, Toni is stopped by Madame.

It’s been a while since she’s actually seen the woman, and it shows on her face. New wrinkles run through her chin and forehead, and her neck started to sag.

“Walk with me darling.” She says, and Toni follows her to a familiar room. It’s so darks she can’t see very far, let alone to the back.

“I’ve heard a few things recently that really upset me.”

“About Lara?” Toni says

“No not Lara. That girl was so sweet, it’s a shame.”

“You killed her.” Toni says, “You and Instructor Matveev.”

Madame laughs, “I did? Did I? Who pulled the trigger?”

“Svetlana pulled the trigger.” Toni said grudgingly.

“So Svetlana Alekseev killed her.”

“You made her.” Toni said

“Did I put a gun to her head?”

Toni scoffs, “You might as well have.”

“It’s no matter now. The girls dead, the elimination was successful. However, this class has a rare case. There were two weak links at once.”

“What do you mean?” Toni said,

“I mean,” Madame paused, walking towards the wall, “Lara Vasilla was not the only one being eliminated.”

“Am I being eliminated?” Toni said, “Is that why I’m here?” Her heart started to pound, so she tried to steady her breath, Madame just laughed,

“Of course not.” She finally found the light switch on the wall and flick one of them, turning on a light nearby, illuminating Nika, strapped to a chair.

“Nika here has been spreading lies.”  
Toni exhaled, “Nika wouldn’t lie.”

“Oh but she would.” She walked towards Nika, who’s eyes were huge and pleading, “She says we wiped your memory. That your name isn’t Antonia Sobol.”

Toni swallowed hard, “She’s quite delusional.” Madame continued.

“That’s not true.” Toni said, avoiding eye contact with Nika, “My parents sold my sister Ursula and I to a whore house, the Red Room rescued us, but couldn’t save Ursula from her injuries. I only suffered from a concussion, which gave me long term amnesia.”

“That’s quite right.” Smiled Madame, and Toni's blood lit on fire. She couldn't save Nika now. All she could do was kill herself as well. Submit or be submitted. Kill or die.

“We can’t have a crazy asset running around, can we.”

“I suppose not.” Toni said, her voice almost cracked. Her whole body was urging her to run, but where would she go? She’d not been let out of this prison of a mansion since she got here.

“She will be eliminated then. How else to punish her for lying about you, than killing her?”

“There’s not a better way.” Toni said. She’d known where this was going since she saw Nika in the chair, she’d just been afraid. But she has to live. She had to.

She reached for the gun before Madame handed it to her, pointed it at Nika and pulled the trigger in one fell swoop. She couldn’t stand to hear her plead anymore, she couldn't stand to think about it one more second.

Just like in their target practice, she’d gotten a bullseye. An angry red dot placed neatly between Nika’s dark black eyebrows.

The blood splattered all over Toni. She’s given a washcloth and a new shirt. She walks towards the sleeping quarters alone, two empty beds lie in her class’s section, and they’ll not be used for a long time.

The rest of the year Nika comes to her in her dreams, sometimes sad, usually angry. She never touches her, but the screams are enough to torture her every night. Her absence is quickly discovered, but Toni won’t tell them what happened. 

She can’t.

She doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror most days, she can only see the similarities between herself and the tall dark man who killed her family, terrified and terrifying.

Now more than ever, she wishes he’d just killed her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are not only welcome, but encouraged. Tell me what you think, what you want to happen and anything that crosses your mind, I promise you every comment makes me update 5x times faster!


	4. June 26th, 1999

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More doom and gloom I'm afraid, but that's what you signed up for! I cranked this bad boy out in a day thanks to y'alls wonderful comments! I hope you enjoy.

Date: June 26th, 1999  
Time: 1900  
Asset: Asset Name Pending  
Target: Antonia Sobol

Toni doesn’t even notice she’s screaming till her arm slips and she falls off the bed. The slick floor makes it hard for her to push herself back up to the bed, so she lies there a moment. 

Her left hand is still handcuffed to the frame, so she gets up, her arm being twisted behind her back wasn’t comfortable. She leverages her body backwards, so she lays on her back on top of the thin bed, with her hand stuck to the cold metal frame.

“Can you be quiet?” A voice calls from behind her, 

Toni scoffs, “Sorry, I know you need as much beauty sleep as you can get Tania.”

“At least I’m not wetting the bed every other night,” Tania remarks, 

Toni laughs, but it’s forced, “It was a nightmare not weak bladder syndrome, you really should study hard in biology, or you’ll fall even more behind.”

Tania starts to reply when another voice chimes in, “Can you two quit flirting or get a room?” they both pauses awkwardly, “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

No one talks for the rest of the night, and Toni barely sleeps. Everytime her eyes close a little, she gets flashes of nightmares.

It’s a sparring day, so they spend the whole morning in the gym warming up. Rumor has it they’re going to eliminate someone this week.

Toni thinks it’s a lie, they never see it coming. That’s the point of the process, shock someone enough and eventually they accept the shock.

Isadora was eliminated after Nika. A small girl, Mila, was forced to cut her throat.

Tania beat Svetlana to death last year in a sparring match. During the fight, she made eye contact with an Instructor and asked permission, until then the Instructors ignored her glib requests to kill her classmates, but finally they said yes.

Svetlana was a deer in the headlights, she’d had no intention of winning this fight, but no one had been killed in the ring yet. 

When Tania cornered her, she faked left and tried to run, but Tania snagged her wrist, pulling at the bruises circling it and whipping her down to the floor.

Svetlana squirmed and cried for a moment, gripping her injured wrist, when Tania crouched over her, and started punching her in the face. 

Most strikes landed squarely on her cheek, sometimes she hit her nose, other times she outright missed and punched her neck. It was only a few minutes till Svetlana stopped crying out, a few more till she stopped moving. 

But Tania kept pounding her broken face, till she suddenly grabbed her head and smashed it to the ground. 

It wasn’t till a pool or blood circled her skill that she got up and returned to the line. They all stood at attention, waiting for their next order. The Instructor, Kevac, simply ordered the next two girls to begin their spar.

Unlike the other girls, Tania didn’t retreat into herself after the murder. Mila, and Toni became more quiet and reserved, even though no one even knew Toni murdered Nika. 

When asked about Nika’s disappearance, Toni just said she’d been eliminated for spreading lies.

Madame had ears all over the place and she couldn’t afford to make another mistake.

Tania became more bold after Svetlana’s death. Challenging anyone who’d rise to her bait, and in turn, she stopped bothering Toni as much. Probably since Toni stopped sniping back, but also since she was the only one who Tania couldn’t beat.

Two hundred and fifty wins and fifteen losses. She hadn’t lost since Nika died. Twenty seven of those wins have been against Tania, and everytime she trapped her, the older girl wouldn’t stop wiggling and cursing Toni out. But Toni didn’t let go until the Instructor called the match.

After hours of stretching, and laps, the Instructor called them into line. The eight of them stood still, the back of their hands lay on the small of their backs. 

Even though Toni didn’t think they were going to eliminate someone that day, the thought was lurking in the back of her head. What if they made her do it this time? She didn’t think she’d be able to go through with it. 

“Sobol. Orlov. You will go first.” Toni swallowed hard and tried not to look at Katya Orlov, but out of her peripheral vision she could the girl standing there. Her eyes were wide, and her shoulders tensed. Toni would win this fight, and everyone here thought the loser would be eliminated.

They both shuffled to opposite edges of a clean mat, both stiff and uncertain. 

“Begin.” A familiar voice said, they turned to look towards the source and saw that Madame had joined the Instructor in observation. There would be an elimination, Toni was sure of it.

While she’d been looking towards Madame and the Instructor, Katya rushed her. Unlike the other girls, Katya wasn’t much bigger than Toni, agile maybe, but Toni was better. She let Katya grab her arms and swept her feet, knocking the girl to the ground. 

She let her get up, and begin again, neither struck each other for a moment, but that wouldn’t go over well with Madame, so Toni started to jab her in the stomach.

Katya took two or three before she started to try and block, but she couldn’t land any hits. It wasn’t long till she fell to the ground. Toni couldn’t let her up again, she’d be punished, so she leaned over Katya and held her down against the mat.

They only made eye contact for a second, but Katya’s eyes were wild and afraid. She would die, one way or the other. She might’ve been confused as to why Toni didn’t do it then and there, and maybe she should have, but she couldn’t bring herself to end this poor girl’s life in a dingy basement, on a wrestling mat, in front of six teenage girls.

“Sobol.” Madame said, and Toni looked towards her, trying to keep her expression even, “Eliminate her.”

Toni exhaled deeply, and Katya struggled under her harder. Deep down, they both knew there was no way she’d win this fight, but neither wanted Katya to die.

“I said eliminate her.” Madame said, and Toni didn’t respond to start to act so she stepped closer, almost on the mat, “Antonia Sobol. Kill her, she’s lost.”

“She’s not lost.” Toni mutters,

“What?”

“I said,” She looked up and got off of Katya, “She is not lost. She’s right here and she’s done nothing wrong.”

“She’s weak.” Madame says, “The punishment for weakness is death. Only then can the strong rise.”

“The strong don’t kill the weak.” Toni says

Madame is quiet a moment, before she turns to the Instructor and the guards, “Take Orlov.”

Katya crawls back, “No! Please no!” She cries as the guards unceremoniously take both her arms, and dragged her towards the door.

“Stop it!” Toni cries out, striding towards them, “Leave her alone!”

She glances towards the remaining candidates, they’re all standing stuck in their places, eyes wide. Even Tania looks helplessly at Toni.

“Stop.” Madame says, the guards, Toni and Katya look to her, “Take Sobol too.”

Toni’s unfortunately familiar with the hallway she’s being dragged down. At the end of it, sits two thick doors, inside is an open warehouse type room, where she was forced to kill the closest person she had to a friend, and where she lost her memory, and identity. 

She and Tania are sitting in chairs opposite each other, and quickly tied to the metal backings.

Silently the guards and Instructors leave them once they’ve be subdued, and they sit alone in silence.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but it’s not helping.” Katya says suddenly,

“What?” Toni responds,

“You think you’re some hero?” She says, sneering, “Well, you’re not. You’ve only made it worse.”

“They were going to kill you!” Toni exclaims,

“They still are!” Katya yells back, “You haven’t saved me! You haven’t saved anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

Katya scoffs, “We all know what you did to Nika.”

“You… you do?” 

“We’re not dumb.” Katya says, “She was annoying you so you told your bestest friend ever that she was a threat, and they eliminated her.”

“I didn’t want her to die!” Toni said, “They made me!”

“Oh so you killed her?” Katya says, “Well that’s much better.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Toni says quietly, “I confided in her, I think we were friends.”

“You knew her for a day.”

“I’d known her for years, just like I’ve known all of you for years. But she was the first one to talk to me like a person.”

“Maybe you don’t deserve to be treated like a person. Maybe you’re a monster.” Katya says

“Maybe I am.”

“That’s quite enough chit chat girls.” A sharpening clicking sound alerts Toni to Madame’s presence, “I’m afraid you’ll both have to be punished.”

“Madame!” Katya says, “Please, I haven’t done anything wrong! She disobeyed your orders, she’s the weak one!”

Madame gave Katya an unamused look, “Defiant doesn’t mean weak. Quite the opposite actually.” she turns to Toni,

Toni narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her face even and not radiate the fear she felt.

“Unfortunately, rebellion isn’t a good thing for a spy, otherwise I’d praise you for having a backbone.” She looks back to Katya, “A rare trait in a school like this.”

Katya’s face falls, and Toni says, “Give her some more time. I’ll train her.”

When Madame doesn’t respond, she continues blabbering, “She’ll be the best candidate in our class, in our whole school!”

Katya sneers, “I’d rather die than spend another minute with you.”

“Katya! Please she’ll kill you!” Toni pleads, “She thinks you’re weak, but you’re not!”

“No. I am.” Katya says, “But I have morals. I have a soul. More than you can say.”

Madame steps closer, and Toni begins to plead again. Madame stops her with a swift jab towards Katya, Toni doesn’t see the small blade in her hand it it’s on her side again, dripping with blood.

Toni’s eyes shot to Katya, she was still sitting in the chair, but there was a thin red line across her neck that quickly began dripping blood.

Toni struggled against the ties, the bound her hand to the back of the chair, “Help her!”

Madame smiled quietly, “It’s a curious thing. Light pressure to the wound would allow time for the blood to clot.”

More blood poured out of Katya, but at that information, she began struggling against her ropes and crying muffled screams.

“However, I will not be helping her, and she and you are currently unable to administer basic first aid. She’ll bleed out in minutes at this rate, the more she squirms the faster.”

“Please.” Toni said, making eye contact with Madame, and momentarily ignoring Katya, who slowly stopped moving, “I’ll do whatever you want, but you can still save her. She’s innocent.”

“Hardly.” Madame said, “She was the one who told me about Nika’s likes. You were found of that one weren’t you?”

Toni’s face rashes with blood and she wants to scream. How could Katya have blamed her for Nika’s death, when she was the one who told on her? But what if this was a lie? Katya couldn’t exactly defend herself at the moment, could she?

Toni steeled her breath, “I didn’t want Nika to die, but I don’t want Katya to die either.”

“That’s a poor opinion. You do realize what will happen if Katya doesn’t die here, yes?”

Toni paused, she’d never thought in depth about the elimination process, ever since Nika’s death all she’d been focused on was surviving.

“What? What will happen?”

“You will.”

Toni finally let her fear and shock show on her face, “What? But there were twelve of us? You can’t kill eleven innocent girls!”

“In the pursuit of the strongest, I can. The trauma makes you ruthless, precise, and untouchable. Only once you’ve gone through purgatory, can you see heaven.”

Katya groaned quietly, before her head finally fell to her chest, a few more drops of blood slide down her neck and torso, but her body was still.

“This isn’t purgatory.” Toni whispered, “This is hell.”

“And what would that make me?” Madame said, almost gleefully, 

The devil, Toni thought, but she didn’t respond. 

She only dropped her head in defeat. She was untied, and the restraints hadn’t left much of a mark on her hands, so there was no evidence of her capture.

Only the look of pure fear Katya had in her eyes as the last drops of blood drained from her neck, and the light disappeared in her pupil.

She returned to the sleeping quarters, and ignored the whispered concerns of the girls around her. Even candidates from other classes were watching her get into bed and lock the handcuff around her wrist.

She paid them no attention, but her face said it all.

Katya was dead, and everyone thought Toni killed her.

The next week they were sparring again, but Toni couldn’t muster up much energy.

“Losing your edge Sobol?” Tania teased, as she landed another hit to her stomach, Toni blinked, barely noticing the punch, let alone the nasty comment, “Maybe” was her reply.

The match’s that day were quick and painless, no one was on edge this week. Tania quickly took Mila down in record time, but both girls good naturedly got up and walked back to the line together.

“Antonia Sobol and Petra Repov. Please begin your match.” Madame walked in quietly, no one noticed her observing in the back corner.

Petra dramatically walked towards the mat, “Oooh I’m so scared. Try not to kill anyone this time Sobol?”

Toni glanced at the mats, not returning her banter, and Petra groaned in frustration. It’d become a game to try to get a reaction out of Toni since last week. Spilling food on her, tripping her in the halls, and hiding her uniforms was just some of their favorite methods of torment. 

But bringing up theories on how and why she’d killed Katya and sometimes even Nika were the best ways.

They began and Toni quickly took advantage of Petra’s lack of technique. She had no balance or grace, but she knew the skills and moves. Toni had to knock her off her feet before she could attack.

With a slap to the shoulder and a sweep of the calf, Petra fell to her knees. Toni quickly kneed her in the back, and she fell to the ground with a thud.

She rolled over, and tried to block Toni’s next hit, but she was too fast.

It was another moment before Toni got a good hold on her, and restrained her from struggling and getting away.

She’d won the match, Petra knew it. But she still squirmed under her tight hold as if getting free would be enough to win.

Toni looked towards the Instructor for permission to let go, but her eyes widened when she saw Madame standing next to the Instructor. 

Petra must’ve noticed too, because she went completely still for a moment, before she began to wildly swing her legs, and bang her hands on Toni’s.

“Instructor?” Toni said swallowing, “Madame?”

Madame didn’t even look sorry when she quietly said, “Eliminate her.”

She saw what would happen next, they’d drag her and Petra into the huge room. Maybe this time they’d take more time, and make Petra suffer. They’d certainly make Toni watch.

She could see the life draining out of Petra’s beautiful green eyes as striking red blood dripped from her neck, and maybe her legs, arms, and face. They’d make her death long and painful.

So she let go of Petra’s shoulder, and moved them up towards her neck. Not much pressure was needed, till she felt the throat close. Petra started choking, and grabbed and scratched at Toni’s hands, so she applied more force to the neck.

Her legs started to shake, so Toni clamped them down with her leg. If she stopped applying force, Petra would recover momentarily, and Toni would have to start again.

It was just a moment, before Petra’s eyes shot to the back of her head, and the tips of her ears and lips turned greyish. She stopped squirming, and Toni could feel the pulse in her neck grow dimmer. Then it was gone.

The remaining five candidates watch in silence, and Madame must have slipped out while Petra was still fighting back. Toni silently returned to the line, her cheeks wet with tears, and her hands heavy.

All these skills and tricks they’ve taught her for years, and she’s still so powerless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like oxygen, I can't breath without. Drop a compliment, comment, or concern below and I'll reply shortly! Thanks to my beta Balletgrl046, you're a peach!


	5. September 10th, 2001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has graphic scenes that may be triggering to some, if you'd like to skip but want the plot see end chapter notes.
> 
> Sorry this took literal years to write, I think I rewrote it at least twice. Working on the next one now and it should be done soon.
> 
> If you wanna drop a comment or a kudos, please do AKA validate me.

Date: September 10th, 2001  
Time: 1900  
Asset: Asset Name Confirmed, Awaiting Final Candidate  
Target: Ihor Mazur

The cold floor did little to comfort Toni as she waited to die.

She lay behind a huge table that’d been pushed sideways, and cardboard boxes stood between her an her soon to be killer; another girl, just three years older than her at nineteen, but equipped with a machine gun.

Toni had never been good at hiding, she was fighting the urge to abandon her cover, wrap her arms around her legs, scoot to the nearest corner and die, but some deep seeded survival instinct kept her firmly behind the table. 

The girl, Eva Shvets, wouldn’t have to wait much longer. In mere minutes, she’d kick the right box out of the way and see a stray hand or leg, and promptly fill Toni’s body with bullets. 

Eva, along with the other two lowest girls in the class, had been given their choice of firearms that morning. She and Tania, the two highest marking girls in the class, had been told to hide in the dusty basement of the school, that Toni didn’t even know existed. 

No one was allowed out, until someone was dead. And the favorite target of the night was Toni.

For a moment she considered following Tania, but the older girl shot her a look of pure loathing as they were released into the maze of rooms, as if to warn her away. She heed that warning.

A team up probably wasn’t what Madame or the Instructors wanted anyways, so Toni ducked a different way and found herself trapped in this tiny room with Eva and her assault rifle.

The hairs on her arms stood up as she saw Eva’s black flats pass her hiding spot a third time, she moved slowly and deliberately, taking her time searching every room, because she knew she had the luxury. 

Toni’s whole body flinches at a loud sound nearby, she thought for sure Eva had spotted her, when she realized it was coming from outside.

The sound was familiar. Gunfire, Toni decided. Eva had stopped right in front of the table, but was turned towards the door now. Tania must’ve been caught not far from here, and was probably dead.

But would the remaining girls end the game? Along with Eva, Klara Petrov and Mila Fedorov were in the basement, armed and ordered to kill them. 

Eva would be with her in the basement right now, if another girl Lidia Yakovlev hadn’t walked down to the armory just before dinner last year and shot herself in the head. 

She’d left a note in Hungarian, blaming the Instructor, Madame, and her classmates for driving her to it, claiming she knew she would be the next elimination, and she was probably right, being the lowest in class. 

But now Eva was on the other side so Tania and Toni were their biggest competition, their biggest threat.

What would stop them from using this opportunity to kill two birds?

She heard someone cry out from the hallway, and saw Eva slowly walked to the doorframe, sharply gasp and run into the hall. If she cranked her neck back, she could see her holding something in her arms, but more importantly, she could see the rifle she had, laying on the ground behind her.

Toni slowly scooted out from behind the table, and stepped over the boxes, almost silently. Good thing Eva was so distracted by whoever had been shot, Toni easily snuck up behind her and grabbed the gun.

She pointed it at Eva, and the girl stiffened when she felt it’s point tap her neck.

“Stand up.” Toni said, hoping her voice wasn’t wavering too much, 

Eva stayed firmly planted on the ground, arms still wrapped around a now unmoving girl.

“I said stand.” Toni commanded again, more forceful now

“Even you couldn’t be so cruel.” Eva sniped back, barely turning her head to look at Toni, “She’s dying, we need to get her help.”

“If I remember correctly, you were about to blow my head off two minutes ago, so I don’t feel too bad about being cruel.” She poked the back of Eva’s head again, “Stand.”

The girl begrudgingly stood up, slowly resting the other girls head on the ground, as she turned Toni shot her eyes to the body and recognized it as Mila. When she’d fully turned around Toni could see Eva had been drenched in blood from her stomach down, Mila’s blood.

“Turn and walk.” Toni said, 

“She’s dying!” Eva shouted, “We have to get her help!”

“She’s dead. She hasn’t moved, and I’m guessing she doesn’t have a pulse.” 

Eva looked away, unanswering and Toni knew the girl was gone. “So walk.”

The nearest exit was only two hallways down, they’d been told that every door had an Instructor ready to end the trial. The look on the Instructor who opened the doors face was priceless, only hours ago, Toni had been sent in unarmed, to die, and now she had her would be killer at the wrong end of an AK-47. She’d feel proud if there wasn’t a lump in her throat every time she remembered Mila’s body lying in the hallway.

The remaining candidates are gathered in the dining hall quickly after, Eva is led away shortly and returns wearing a change of clothes. Tania and Klara are looking at Toni confusedly.

“I heard gunfire and thought you’d finally bit it. Color me surprised.” Tania said with a smirk, 

Toni only rolled her eyes, “Happy to see me, Utkyn? When it comes down to it, you’re really gonna have to get over that crush.”

Tania laughed, but it was hollow, they both paused a moment when Tania leaned in, “Who’s dead then?”

Toni looked over towards Eva and Klara, sitting near the other side of the room, also waiting for the Instructor to return with Madame, “Can’t you see who’s not here? It’s Mila.”

“How’d you kill her?” Tania says,

“I didn’t.”

Tania leans closer, “Not really, you can tell me. I have to say I’m impressed you turned the tables that quickly.”

“I promise you I didn’t. I was hiding and I heard the gun. Eva had abandoned her weapon in the hall so I marched her to an exit and told them Mila was dead. I don’t know what happened to her, I honestly thought it was you.”

Tania’s pauses a moment, then starts to say something else, when Madame walks in followed by a pack of Instructors.

“What an interesting turn of events.” She says simply, “I have to say I didn’t see it coming.”

The candidates stood from their chairs and approached her, lining up one by one with their hands placed on the small of their backs, Eva shifted away from Toni unnaturally, and stiffened whenever she got too close.

“So who’s won the prize?” Madame says, Toni blinks, she didn’t know there was a prize.

“Excuse me Madame, but I think Sobol has cheated.” Eva stepped forward suddenly, “She didn’t kill Mila, and she stole my gun from me. The rules didn’t say she could do that.”

“Did they say she couldn’t?” Madame asks, smiling amused.

“Well no. But she refused to get Mila help, and she was very cruel and unsportsmanlike, and I don’t think that behavior should be rewarded so-”

“Do you think our line of work values sportsmanship?” Madame says, she walks towards Eva slowly, her lips are still smiling but now they’ve gotten thinner. She brushes her finger across Eva’s forehead and runs it through the first strand of hair framing her face, “And what, pray tell, gave you the idea I cared at all about what you think?”

When she gets to the end of the strands she grasps it suddenly and pulls Eva’s whole head downwards, “No one in this room has any authority to tell me how to run my program.” She smirks as Eva as she stands up straight again, “Especially the fool who lost the only advantage she ever had.”

Eva steps back in line, and stares straight ahead, refusing to turn to Toni.

“Now, my prize was to be awarded to the killer of the night, but as we don’t know exactly what happened to Fedorov, and Eva here seems to blame Antonia, she will be tonight's winner.”

For a moment Eva almost seems to try to talk again, and Toni wants to hold her back, to protect her from Madame’s wrath, when she regains composure and satisfies herself with glaring at Toni.

“The Red Room was contacted by an organization that helps finance the program, and in turn we provided fully fledged assets for their use. However, they require someone right now, and all available assets are otherwise in use, so we offered the best of one of our older classes, the winner of tonight's competition.”

Toni blinked, slowly absorbing the words. She was going on a mission.

“It should only take one day, and you will be promptly returned. Better go get briefed now, it’s almost time to go.”

She was leaving the Red Room. She was going outside, for the first time in years. And if she had anything to say about it, she wasn't going to come back.

The series of hallways was familiar, and they led back to an empty room with no light. The Instructor Zma walked in with her.

“The chopper will pick you up shortly, and you’ll be dropped right outside Kiev, Ukraine, you’ll find your way to the hotel, the address is on the written brief, it’s Velyka Zhytomyrska St, 2A, Kyiv, Ukraine, 01001, the InterContinental Kyiv, a luxury hotel.”

Toni nods numbly, are they just letting her go out alone? 

“We have an asset inside already, she’ll be watching to make sure you’re successful and she’ll get you out safely.”

As if reading her mind, they squashed any hope of escaping, she pretended not to care about the surveillance, “What is my mission?”

“You’ll be placing twenty listening devices all over Ihor Mazur’s room. You have a maid outfit in your grab bag, along with a bulletproof stealth suit for your expos.”

“Am I in the hotel’s system as a maid?” Toni asks,

Zma shakes her head, “This being so sudden, we don’t have time to get you in their system legitimately, but the costume should sell it, and you’ll be able to access his room with the key in your grab bag.”

“What is a grab bag exactly?” Toni says, 

“It’s the bag with all the supplies and your written brief, it’ll be on the chopper.” She glances at her watch, “Speaking of which, we need to leave.”

She strides down the hallway they entered from, but veers into an unfamiliar room, a door stands in the back and Zma waits expectantly, “Go, you’ll be late.”

Toni approaches the door hesitantly, but opens it in one pull, the rush of the rising sun blinds her as she looks at the huge backyard of the Red Room.

She steps out and breathes deeply, a smile playing on her lips despite herself, and she only just noticed the helicopter approaching in the distance.

It lands feet in front of her and the pilot waves her on board. Silently they take off again, towards the city. 

The grab bag is in the back, next to a door mark ‘change’ so she slings the bag over her shoulder and opens the door.

The room is cramped, but there's enough room for her to change, and sit to reread the brief. It mentions no motive for the mission, only location and target. She pauses momentarily at the top of the page. 

September 10th, 2001

Is that the date? She’s nearly eighteen! Well two years away, but it seemed so sudden. She hasn’t paid too much attention to the year since she was young. 

The instructions are clear, the stealth suit goes on underneath the maid uniform, her hair should be kept up in a ponytail, and the bugs go in her pockets, until she’s ready to place them.

The ride there is long and boring, she doubts the pilot wants to talk, so she leaves the small room, closing the duffle bag and her school uniform inside, and sits in the only passenger seat in the back. 

The sun has risen more since she got on the chopper, and the sights are beautiful. She can’t focus on them too long, as her mind is racing. 

Will she find an opportunity to escape? What is the point of the mission anyways, and does she even want to know

It feels like mere minutes till the chopper lands in an empty field, just outside of Kiev. She can see the beginnings of the skyline, and she had just a few hours to make her way to the hotel.

The pilot gives her a cordial wave as she jumps off the aircraft, and wastes no time taking off again.

She can’t help but stare at him as he leaves, since he’s the first man she’s seen in person for years.

She’s been surrounded by her classmates, girls in other classes, and the Instructors, all of whom are female. Rumors that there’s a male doctor in the infirmary have been spreading for years, but Toni’s made sure to avoid injury.

It’s not long till she can’t hear the helicopter anymore and she’s alone in the field. She enjoys the quiet, and the warmth of the sun. Even when she was training in secret she could hear girls in classes, or sparring sessions only hallways away, or upstairs. She’d forgotten the tranquility of truly being alone.

She started walking soon after that, the rising sun only reminded her how little time she had to complete her mission.

She must’ve been an odd sight. A young woman dressed as a maid, walking down a street that was getting busier and busier as she neared the city. She ignored a few leers, and men offering her rides, tuning them out the same way she turned her classmates out for years.

She tried not to imagine exactly what she’d do to the rude men if she could. In between her fantastical beat downs, she could see Mila in the hallway, bleeding out. Eva was screaming at her and her ears felt like they were going to explode but she couldn’t get away. She could see a rifle in her arm, pointed at Mila and warm as if she’d just fired.

So it was better if she didn’t daydream, lest her imagination get the better of her.

The hotel was tall, and intimidating, like the Red Room mansion, but for different reasons. 

Where the Red Room was dark, and imposing, the Velyka Zhytomyrska Hotel was sleek and futuristic, both buildings made Toni uneasy.

She entered without a hitch, no one batted an eye at a young girl in uniform. She slipped on an empty elevator and rose to floor thirteen, room ninety four. The key card she’d been given opened the door, so she slipped inside and shut it quickly.

The room was a mess, towels and clothes were strewn through the door, and a half empty beer bottle lay on the bed sideways, having already spilled some contents on the sheets. She pities the real maids.

It was quick work placing the bugs through the room, mostly on the underside of window sills and tables. She popped a few behind the bed frame, and one behind the toilet. She hoped no one was tasked with constantly listening to these bugs. 

As she places the last one, under a shelf in the linen closet, she heard the door start to open. Her body tensed, but she didn’t panic. She calmly stepped into the bathroom, hoping Mazur was too drunk to notice her. Maybe he’d pass out on his bed and allow her to escape unnoticed.

She watched him silently from the bathroom as he stumbled through the room, almost tripping on boxes and towels on the ground. He made his way to the bed, and just like she’d predicted he looked about ready to flop down and sleep. 

Suddenly he leaned over and picked up the beer bottle half spilled on his bed. Toni wanted to scream, but she calmed her nerves, maybe he’d throw it on the ground like he did the other cans. Instead, he stared at the stained white sheets, now a murky brown. He discarded the bottle on the ground, but turned towards the phone, right next to the bathroom and Toni.

It only took a second for them to lock eyes. Toni did her best to look unbothered at being noticed, but was unsure of how convincing she was.

“What’re you doing’ here?” He slurred in Ukrainian, she paused a moment

“I just arrived to tidy your room, sir.” She paused, looking around the filth, “We didn’t expect you back so soon.”

He nodded, accepting her story but took a step closer, “There’s a stain on my sheets.”

She looked towards the bed as if she hadn’t been watching him, “I’ll go get you new ones.” She stepped out of the bathroom and towards the door, but he caught the crook of her elbow, it took every bit of willpower not to flip him over her back and pin him to the ground.

Instead she looked at him, they were closer now, she could smell the booze on his breath. They’d been taught how to deal with alcohol. The kinds of it, it’s effects, and that you should avoid it on missions, because it made you sloppy. She certainly could confirm that by the way Mazur seemed to be holding on to her for stability as well as control.

“You don’t have to leave yet, sweetheart.” he purred, brushing his hand down her cheek erratically, his fingers couldn’t maintain the straight path, “We could dirty them up a bit before you get clean ones.”

Suddenly all her training left her, her voice was small and in the back of her throat, the beating of her heart seemed to drone on in her ears. “That’s alright sir, I have a lot of rooms to clean.” 

She stepped away from him, but his grip was surprisingly tight and strong, “What kind of customer service is that?” He asked, “I’d hate to have to call the front desk about this, be a pity for a pretty thing like you to be out of a job.”

He must’ve mistook her widened eyes for panic at losing her job, rather than fear of being caught. He heard her silence as evidence that she couldn’t leave, he took the opportunity to press his lips to hers, stilling holding her arm tightly.

She tried to pull away at first, but soon he’d backed her up to the wall, and the arm that wasn’t steadying her was groping at the edge of her skirt, pulling up and up. She cried out and smiled, maybe it sounded like moaning to him, maybe he liked that she was afraid.

He let go of her arms suddenly, maybe he was done, being so drunk it’d probably tired him out. Then he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her to her knees. 

She had tears in her eyes as he unbuckled his belt, and they slid down her face when he grabbed her jaw and squeezed till she couldn’t stand but open her mouth. He was ruthless selfish, and dirty, and she was choking on her own vomit, that rose from her throat. 

After a few minutes, her mouth was sore, it pulled slightly, closing. He yelped and slapped her across the face, grabbing her jaw again, harder this time, he screamed, “Open you slut!” Another slap and he began again, harder this time, till the tears slid down her neck.

She couldn’t hear much, but his grunting and her own sniffling, but she thought she could make out the click of a lock behind her, Mazur didn’t notice, till a tall blonde lady was behind him with a small needle in his neck. He fell into her arms quickly and she dragged him onto the bed.

Toni sunk from her knees, she leaned against the wall crying, “Please don’t hurt me, please, I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to, he made me!”

The woman looked at her curiously, as if not seeing her, “Antonia Sobol?” She said

Toni nodded, and took the woman’s extended hand, “The injection was a low grade anesthetic, he’ll wake up thinking it was a dream.”

“Who are you?” Toni said, “They said another agent would be my expo.”

“And here I am.” She shrugged, “He wasn’t supposed to return for hours, I would’ve come sooner if I’d known...”

Toni swallowed slowly, “We should go.”

The agent nodded, “Let’s.”

The way out of the hotel was quicker and darker, they took staircases and side hallways. A black car was waiting in the alley, and Toni turned to the woman to say thank you and goodbye, but she stood down the hallway.

Toni couldn’t make out much of her features, due to the thick black sunglasses she had on, but she noticed a tiny red hourglass symbol on her belt.

“You’re Black Wid-” Toni stopped, as the woman raised her pointer finger to her mouth, shhhing her from far away. As Toni stepped closer to the car, the woman smiled and pivoted away, down the hallway.

The car was driven by a silent chauffeur, who didn’t debrief her, let alone look back to notice the stream of tears sliding down her face as they drove further and further from the hotel. 

Her mouth was raw and sore, she clutched her neck and could already tell where bruises from his death grip will appear soon. 

Would the girls make fun of her for getting beaten like this? Could she handle their taunts this time around?

You deserve it. She thought to herself.

Petra, Katya, Mila, Nika. Their faces flashed through her head. Not their faces, their corpses. Their blood. It was on her hands. Only fair for the world to punish her. She wishes it would be death instead of this.

She’s silent the ride home, and it’s a long trip. She only stops crying when she can see the top of the Red Room mansion, and by the time she strides inside the prison, her tears are wiped away and she’s ready to face them again. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The candidates of Toni's class are assigned a small mission, the three lowest girls in the class are given rifles, while Toni and Tania are told to run. Everyone wants Toni dead, and she's cornered in a room with one of the girls, when they hear gunfire from outside. They investigate and Mila's been shot, Eva is distraught, and Toni takes advantage, forcing her to walk to the exit at gunpoint and ending the mission. Because Toni 'won' the mission, she's awarded a real life assignment. The object is to plant small bugs in the hotel room of a Ukrainian man, and she does. However he arrives back to the hotel early, and forces her to preform oral sex. A mysterious agent appears, and injects him with an anesthetic, before leading her out of the hotel. She realizes the agent was the infamous Black Widow. She rides home and thinks the universe is punishing her for all her actions in the Red Room, but has her icy exterior back in place by the time she arrives at the mansion.


	6. May 4th, 2002

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni goes wild, she's had enough. Beware.
> 
> Drop a like or comment to keep this weird flow of writing from me, I have no idea where it came from and I'm too afraid to question it!

Date: May 4th, 2002  
Time: 0200  
Asset: Asset Name Confirmed, Awaiting Final Candidate  
Target: Koila Nailatikau

No matter how hard Toni clamped her eyes shut, she couldn’t drown out the wailing. All day and all night she listened to the miserable girl next to her screaming her head off. Toni wanted to stick her head through the thick metal bars they were currently trapped, and break her own neck for a second of peace and quiet.

The other women snapped at her at first, but everyone soon realized it did no good. The young girl was inconsolable.

Toni pitied her, she was a pretty thing. Probably fourteen, maybe fifteen. The rest of the prisoners, besides Toni, were in their late fifties.

They all had shackles, binding their hands together, their feet together, and their handcuffs and feet cuffs, you guessed it, together.

Overkill if you asked Toni. These women couldn’t hurt a fly if they wanted to. They were depressed, bitter, and hopeless, certainly not deserving of the extra security.

Toni’s train of thought was interrupted by a particularly loud wail, and Toni groaned quietly to herself. She stood up and ambled towards the girl awkwardly. She didn’t look up, and only acknowledged Toni’s presence when she sat down before her.

“Koila?” Toni said, “That’s your name right?”

The girl stopped crying a moment to look surprised, then it shifted to suspicion, “How’d you know?”

Toni smiled, “You’re the first daughter of Fiji, probably the most high profile prisoner here.”

“I’m not a prisoner,” The girl said, “I’ve been kidnapped, I’m a kidnappee. Prisoners deserve their sentence, they commit crimes.”

Toni shrugged, “OK, well then you’re to most famous kidnappee.”

The girl nodded silently, “Why are you here?”

Toni smiled sadly, “I worked in your dad’s political office. I got in the way of some revolutionaries while they were pillaging, during the coup.”

Koila was not good at guarding her expressions, so Toni knew she’d bought the story, “I wish I could say I was brave, or I defended the Prime Minister, but I was just trying to escape.”

She looked at her feet, crisscrossed in front of her, feigning shame, waiting for Koila to take the bait. The younger girl reached over and took Toni’s hand, “Bravery isn’t just fighting, it’s words, and presence. I appreciate you being there, many left long before the coup began.”

Toni nodded as if reassured, she let the girl comfort her a moment longer. She had to admit despite how weak the girl had appeared while sobbing for hours, she had leadership potential.

Now all she had to do was get out of this shit hole prison.

It wasn’t long till the guards came around. They took two women outside every night for execution. The longer the Prime Minister held on to his position, the more prisoners would die, one of which was his daughter.

Now that Toni could secure Koila she was supposed to goad the guards, get them to take both of them towards the gallows. 

Rumors flew around that the guards indulged in the prisoners on the way to execution, and Toni’s stomach turned at the very thought, but right now her only focus was leaving this country having completed the mission.

They stood at the gate, peering inside, the other woman turned their heads towards the lone window in the back of the cell, but Toni stared at the closest guard till he made eye contact. She looked at him angrily, rebelliously. Just like she knew he would, he picked her out of the bunch, so he could feel powerful as he beat the rebellion out of her.

As she stood up, she grabbed a link in Koila’s handcuff chain, dragging her up too. The guards took one look at her and waved them both out of the cell.

Koala's sobbing began as they walked through the filthy hallways. A guard led them through the building, and another stood behind them, in case they ran.

In mere moments, they stopped, a dark hallway with a broken light stood between them and courtyard, which held the gallows. The guard's closed in on them, and Koila switched to silent weeping. 

Toni tried not to look at the other girl, she’d seen too much of herself in that moment. And she needed to be strong.

The guard took another step towards her, his gun and baton securely tucked in their waist holders. 

Before he could react, she jerked her elbow to her nose, and wrapped the long chain between her handcuffs around the second guard.

Before the first could recover, she leveraged her weight against the second guard and kicked him with both feet. 

With the momentum from landing her kick, she swung the second guard over her shoulder and on top of the first. They laid there groaning, as if unable to comprehend being taken down by a girl half their size in thirty seconds.

She slipped a pistol, and the keys from their belts, and tossed the key to Koila, who despite her shock, was able to begin unlocking herself without direction.

In just a moment she was free from both sets of shackles, and started to undo Toni’s. 

“Should we lock them up?” Koila asked, as the last cuff on Toni’s foot fell, Toni shook her head, and without warning, shot two bullets into each guard’s head.

Koila jumped, “What are you doing!” She cried

“They’ll have heard that. We have to move.”

She did follow Toni down the remaining narrow passage, and out the door, where another dead guard lied, Koila looked at the man only a moment as they walked past them, then at Toni, but made the connection.

“Who are you?” Koila asked,

“I told you.” She said, tucking the pistol into the back of her pants, “I work for your father.”

“But not at the office?” She said

“No.”

“So you lied to me?” She asks,

“Yes.” Toni replies, “I needed you to trust me.”

They begin down the depression in the land, but Toni can see the road from here, they’re so close,

“Why?” Koila asks

“So you’d follow me. And so I could set us both up to be taken for execution, I knew the guards would want to take a pit stop on the way with you, so I need us to go at once.”

“Why’d you kill them?” she asks,

“Revenge is a powerful motivator, they’d go after you, and your family, after being humiliated like that. Besides, if they tried to do it to us, they would’ve done it again.”

They get to the street when the alarms started blaring, Koila tenses, but Toni says, “Don’t worry, we’re actually early. I was expecting them to notice as we were getting out.”

“Early for what?” Koila says, and Toni just points to the sky, where a sleek black chopper approaches, it’s nearly silent, and hard to see in the sky. It’ll be weeks till they find out Koila got out of the country, and they’ll never find out where Toni went.

She develops a headache only moments after she steps inside the Red Room mansion. She’s alone, it being late at night, but the familiar hallways and doors make her sick already.

She strides through it, towards Madame’s office, for her debrief.

The older woman is staring at a book unpleased when Toni appears in the doorway, she looks up after a second, “Sobol, you’re back early.”

“They moved up the execution.” Toni said shortly, taking a seat in front of the woman.

“I trust you were successful?” 

Toni nods, she always hated this room. She couldn’t remember much about the first day she got here, but she knew she’d been in this room, and she knew it hadn’t ended well. She’d tried to get debriefs moved, but couldn’t be too insistent without raising suspicion.

“Another mission complete. You know most assets don’t get their first mission till graduation.”

“I know.” Toni replied,

“While you’ve already built up a reputation.” She stepped out from behind her desk, and stood directly to the side of Toni, she craned her neck up at her.

“A little gratitude would be appropriate.” Madame said, smiling. But it was a thinly veiled threat. She’d gotten too comfortable. She knew she was good, but good wasn’t enough. She could just be successful on missions, she needed to be perfect in the mansion too. 

Only then would they give her breathing room, less suervaline, and more autonomy.

And then she could escape.

Toni smiled back, just as sweetly, “Of course I’m grateful Madame. It’s just very late, I only got in an hour ago.”

Madame nodded, “Well then, you’ve earned your rest.”

She patted Toni on the shoulder, and returned to her seat behind the desk, picked up her book and ignored Toni as she uneasily rose, and walked out of the office.

Her sleeping quarters weren’t far, by the time she turned the hallway towards them, she was practically dragging her feet.

But they’d stayed up waiting for her.

“What’s the body count at now?” Klara said as she slouched into the hall, “I heard you enjoy eating blood, is that true?”

Maybe if it wasn’t two in the morning she could’ve snarked back, but the plane ride home was bumpy and terrifying, so she hadn’t slept in nearly a day.

The girls surrounded her, mostly not from her class, as there were only three other girls remaining. Klara, Eva, Tania and Toni. Tania hardly bothered her anymore, in fact, she became a target herself. 

All the displays of ruthlessness and strength bought her no good will with Eva, who now rallied younger girls against them both.

Despite this unlikely common ground between them, neither was willing to talk to the other for more than a few minutes, after years of mutual dislike.

But that’s how the Red Room had been built. Isolate the strong. It makes them better assets.

Girls she didn’t recognize, from nearly her own age, to ten years old were hurling insults and accusations as she made the short walk to her bed. They only let up when she let herself flop on the rickety piece of furniture.

Her unwillingness to take their bait left them agitated and bored, something she knew she’d pay for in the morning.

Her dreams kept shifting, the more she concentrated on each image, the further away they flew. She was out of breath like she’d been running for a long time, but she wasn’t going anywhere.

She could hear the things they said to her face everyday, and worse, she could hear the things they whispered about her behind her back.

She woke up with a start, completely wet. Two girls stood in front of her, probably about fourteen, but their expressions, and wide eyes made them look younger. Between them sat a large grey pot. 

She wanted to scream, she wanted to scare them. She’d certainly been scared.

They seemed paralyzed in their spots, so she wiped the drops from her eyes, and whispered, “Go.”

They scurried away, leaving the empty wet pot before her.

She was already waking up late, and so changing her clothes made her unmistakably late for roll call, her tight braids were still damp.

“I see you decided to take a shower this morning, Sobol?” The Instructor in charge said, Toni nodded, avoiding eye contact with Eva.

She’d seen Eva talking to the young girls later that morning, and while she was drying off she heard giggles from behind her. No doubt, she’d convinced the girls to pull the prank.

“Yes, Instructor.”

“Well I hate to intrude on you ‘me time’ candidate.” She paused a moment, “Why don’t you start waking up an hour early so you’ll have plenty of time to get ready in the morning.”

The girls around her snicker, but she replies, “Of course Instructor.”

She smiles tauntingly, even the Instructors seem to be trying to get a rise out of her.

The day is worse than the others for whatever reason. Only one other girl in the class has been given a real life mission, and from what she could tell, Eva’s mission didn’t go well.

She’d arrived back at the mansion covered in bruises and cuts, and was sent to the infirmary for weeks, only arriving back with a crutch and a bad attitude.

She blamed Toni for taking all the missions, and Toni wants to scream that she doesn’t want them, but they’ve created an image, a persona for her, and it’s going to take more than a heart to heart to break it.

She sits with Tania at lunch. Not next to her, of course, but there’s only so many tables, so each untouchable can’t have their own.

Eva slides beside her, Toni ignores. Sometimes she does this at lunch. It’s probably the most annoying timing.

“Antonia.” She says, which surprises her, first names are rarely exchanged, mostly last names or in Toni’s case, убийца, монстр, демон. Murderer, monster, demon.

She looks up despite herself, and Eva grins, “We were thinking, maybe you should tell Madame you don’t want anymore missions.”

A death sentence if she’d ever heard one, Toni smiled in return, “I don’t know if you understand the point of this program Eva, but the reason we’re here is to complete missions.”

“I just don’t think it’s fair for you to take them all,” She leaned in and whispered dramatically, but her entourage of younger girls, and the candidates that crowded around her could certainly hear, “Especially with you being so unhinged.”

Toni rolled her eyes. Was this it? She was pressuring her to practically kill herself for fear of being outed as crazy?

“You’re right.” Toni said, standing up with her tray, “I am unhinged, so maybe it’s best for you to take a step back, who knows what I might do?”

But Eva followed her, “Oh we’re not afraid of you. We’re afraid of what you might do to civilians.” She was following so close she might’ve stepped on her heels.

Toni whirled around suddenly, and Eva almost ran into her, “Are you sure you’re not afraid of me?”

“I can take you.” Eva said, without a tremble

“I’ve beaten you a hundred times, I’ve been undefeated for years.”

“Brute strength isn’t the only trait an asset needs.” Eva says, 

“I’m in the top of my class, you’ve been jumping between third and bottom all year.”

Eva steps closer, “I’m just saying, tell them you don’t want anymore missions, or sleep with one eye open. Even you can’t take all three of us.”

All three of us? Toni looked towards Klara, who was grinning wilding at her, then towards Tania who seemed more interested in her mashed potatoes than the conversation going on feet from her.

“But I can sure as hell try.” She said, and she spun on her heel, dropping the tray in the trash. But Eva lurched towards her, and dragged her back by her elbow.

She hissed, even though the bruises on her neck and hands faded, she still hated being touched there. Without thinking, she slammed Eva’s head against her knee.

The girls scattered, only two girls who followed Eva everywhere she went and Klara remained.

Klara ambled towards her, but she hit the girl in the neck with her open hand, sending her tumbling. The two girls fled towards the door.

Only Toni and Tania remained, Tania looked up, “You’ve done it now, Sobol.”

She sat down opposite Tania, “I know. I know.”

She sat in the office again, far too soon for her liking. 

Madame looked at her curiously for a moment, when she first came in, then she began yelling.

Irresponsibility, danger, selfishness. A true patriot of Mother Russia would never.

Toni didn’t speak. She didn’t want to. Maybe they’d take her off missions, she was torn between immense relief, and the knowledge that an asset that doesn’t go on missions is useless. And useless means dead.

“They were attempting to blackmail me, Madame.” Toni says finally, after Madame had cooled down a bit and was pausing.

“You think I don’t know that?” She replied, “Years of these taunts, and you never broke, never sunk to their level. You were my example to others. Why now?”

“She grabbed me by the elbow.” Toni said, Madame paused, waiting for an elaboration but Toni offered none.

“You’ve been physically harassed before.”

Before the first mission it didn’t both her much. Like she was used to being slapped and shoved. 

Now even during her spars, she gets dicey when someone grabs her neck or her hands.

“That’s where he grabbed me. That’s how he held me against the wall.”

Madame was quiet, “I see.”

She shouldn’t have said it. Damaged assets were useless too. No matter how good she was, if she was broken, she wasn’t worth the while.

“You may go now. I expect you here bright and early before roll call tomorrow to apologize to Ms. Shvets and Ms. Petrov.”

Toni nodded numbly. Maybe her blood would boil while she did it, maybe she wouldn’t have the strength to care for her wounded pride. 

She blindly navigated through the hallway towards the sparring ring, it was creepily silent.

Her stomach dropped. An elimination.

She got there just in time to see Tania sitting on top of Klara, choking her to death, her legs gave one more pathetic jerk before her whole body stilled. Tania rose from the mat and stood next to Eva, who let one tear slip down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away.

Toni stood beside Tania in silence, but an agreement had been formed.


	7. May 23rd, 2003

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm ashamed to say I used the word 'whom' in this chapter. Hate me if you will but the free website Paper Rater (great too for writing essays and fanfics, this chapter is not sponsered by Paper Rater thou,) reccomended I do and I almost didn't because I didn't want to sound pretentious but I checked and it's gramatically correct and the character who said it seems the the person who'd say it even if it wasn't gramaticlly correct so I put it in there.
> 
> Also this is kinda sad, see end notes for why :( I'm also pissed my mom won't let me have my friend over even though there's gonna be a heat emergency over the weekend and we're literally doing nothing. But it's fine obvi, just more bullshit to whine to my therapist about.

Date: May 23rd, 2003  
Time: 2200  
Asset: Asset Name Confirmed, Awaiting Final Candidate  
Target: Maximiliano Gómez 

It’s tricking business, poisoning someone. 

No one gives this kind of murder credit. Anyone can strangle, or slice, or shoot. But it’s a steady hand and a soothing voice that trick their victims into killing themselves unwittingly.

Toni replays Madame’s crass, callus words in her mind as she walks down the hallway.

She was right. Poison was very difficult, too much and it’s suspicious, too little and there’s no effect. 

Long term poisonings took more than a slip of a hand and the trading of a side dish. You needed to be close to them as you killed them, they had to trust you.

‘Avril Simon’ was hired months ago as a secretary for the target, a wealthy businessman Maximiliano Gómez, and it was the perfect cover. She was low ranking, and Toni worried it would take months for her to reach him, thankfully the old man went through secretaries in days.

The first time they met face to face, he screamed about something unimportant. His face flared red, and his eyes squinted like little bugs. She hated him.

But instead of running, or crying, she smiled.

He didn’t appreciate her lack of fear and sent her on an impossible list of chores. But she had the backing of the KGB to help her complete them, and he couldn’t help but be impressed. 

It wasn’t long till he invited her out for a drink, and she only hesitated for a second.

He was smelly and fat, not necessarily the worst thing someone could be, but paired with an uneven temper, and incredibly boring interests, she could barely stand the sight of him, let alone to spend time with him.

They slept together two months in. Toni showered three times, but could still feel his hands, and his mouth. She felt dirty and used, and she didn’t expect him to call but he did. That’s when she began her mission.

He was already poisoning himself. He carried a pack of thick, expensive cigars wherever he went, and a smaller bunch of cigarettes for emergencies.

She laced each one with an untraceable neurotoxin. The nights she made him dinner, she sprinkled it on like seasoning, or baked it inside.

It wasn’t long till he couldn’t stand upright, and his handwriting lagged. Next went his speech, and his dart throwing aim.

He saw a doctor, she pretended to cry. Why was the world taking away her one good thing? She pleaded with him, and slept with him that night. But soon the urge to have sex would go too.

She felt bad. He wasn’t a nice man, but she didn’t know his crimes against Russia, she didn’t know why he would die a miserable shadow of himself.

Soon he didn’t get out of bed, then he couldn’t. Doctor’s tossed around diagnoses like catch, syndromes and rare disorders floated around Toni’s head, but she knew the real sickness he had was her.

He died six months after they met, and no one suspected her. No one checked his food or cigars, not yet at least. 

He looked oddly at peace when he went, with a shaky breath, like the last exhale of an angry life.

She could see Nika in his face. The beautiful young girl had little actual similarity, but she could sense a common theme in their deaths.

They’d died so Toni could live.

And she certainly intended to.

She left a week after he died, there weren’t any more tears left in her whole body, they’d all been cried out at his funeral. All of them fake.

She arrived in the morning, classes in session, a few drifters scrambled through the hall, none looked at her.

Since her outburst last year, they’d stopped taunting her. A small miracle.

Instead of going straight to Madame’s office, Toni stopped, Instructor Zma stood in the doorway and pointed up the stairs, where Tania and Eva stood.

An unlikely sight. The two hated each other. Madame was near them, all waiting, so she quickly walked up the steps and met them.

“Madame. Utkyn. Shvets.” Toni said,

They all acknowledged her in one way or another, whether it be a smile or a sneer, when Madame turned on her heel towards the North Wing.

Toni had been last to return from her mission. Eva looked most put together, in uniform and braids, while Tania was in uniform, it looked rushed and her hair was gathered in a bun.

Toni still wore the dress she’d worn to Maximiliano’s funeral just hours ago. Her hair is curled perfectly, and her makeup is flawless, she still feels like an idiot for being so dressed up.

She didn’t know where they were going, though she recognized each hallway. She recounted classes, and lessons as she past rooms filled with girls and Instructors.

Advanced biochemistry, thermodynamic theory, monetary econ, and her least favorite, home ec.

Madame finally stopped outside a small classroom, she’d only been in there a few times for measurements. They were fitted with new uniforms every two years. She’d assumed that was the only purpose of the room.

There were three chairs, and the candidates all took one, Tania snagged the one closest to the door, and Eva took the one farthest. Eva had grown to hate Tania even more than she hated Toni, for killing her best friend.

Toni was stuck in the middle, which she hated. But there was little time to dwell, they all looked towards Madame standing in front of them, waiting expectantly.

“We began this class with twelve students.” Toni furrowed her brow. The class had begun before her arrival though,

“Ivana Yanev died unexpectedly early,” the cruel undertones didn’t escape Toni, unexpectedly early. The girl was not favored to be the final asset. “But thankfully Antonia Sobol was recovered shortly afterwards.”

Tania and Eva nodded, so Toni accepted the explanation, “I could recount the death tolls if you wish, who was killed. When and where.” She pauses and Toni swears Madame purposefully makes eye contact with her, “And by whom.”

“But I won’t bore you with that, Utkyn and Sobol are tied with two eliminations each, Shvets has none. We usually choose the final assets by kill count, eliminating the one with the smallest.”

Eva shifts uncomfortably in her seat, not making eye contact with anyone, but scanning the room for armed Instructors.

“But then we realized. If given the opportunity, Shvets could potentially kill both Utkyn and Sobol.”

Tania scoffs, and leans back, as if that’s so unlikely, but Toni hid behind a table with Eva on the other side, ready to shoot, she had no doubt if given the chance, Eva wouldn’t hesitate.

“Or Utkyn and Sobol could settle their score. Either way we’d have a clear loser and winner. We’d have the final pair to progress to the next level of the program.”

Toni swallowed hard. They liked to run these tests, give one group an advantage, send the other running, like a game of hunting. They’d done it a dozen more times after the first, but hadn’t used it for elimination since Mila. She didn’t like the sick look in Eva’s eyes as she realized the similarity to their first trial.

She had no doubt, that in Eva’s mind, she was Mila’s killer. And Tania was certainly Klara’s.

If given the opportunity, Eva would slit their throats in seconds, and smile while she did it.

She needed to play keep away as long as possible, maybe Eva would try for Tania for a while instead.

“You’ll all be armed, and released into the Red Room’s playground.”

“The playground?” Tania said, “We have a playground?”

“It’s not the typical kind. No swing set.” She smiled, “We own forty acres, half of which is dense forest, just outside the mansion. There is an electric fence surrounding it. ”

Toni nodded, it was the most extreme version yet, but she had the advantage. She’d been on twice as many missions as them combined, some of which were in similar conditions. Maybe she could hide for a while and let them tire themselves out.

“You’ll all be dropped in the middle, and sent in different directions. When you hear the horn for the first time, you’ll run, the second time means the game begins. Run back to the mansion when it’s one of you is dead.”

Madame always talked about death like others talked about lunch. Maybe we can talk about it after lunch Suzanne? Or how about after these young women kill each other, would after their deaths be a good time for you?

They were given an unfamiliar change of clothes, black pants, a plain blue shirt and a thick jacket. Plus a backpack filled with supplies, like food and water. Enough to last at least a week, maybe more.

How long with this trial be?

As they waited for the chopper, Eva stood near the door silently. She hadn’t looked at either of them since they left the small room with Madame.

Toni approached Tania, “Ready for ‘Battle Royale’?”

Tania smiled weakly, “This won’t end well.”

“Don’t like camping?” Toni replied,

“Stop joking alright.” Tania said seriously, “Either I die soon, or Eva dies soon and we have to fight to the death. It’s not going to be good. Everything’s going to change.”

“I could die.” Toni said

“What?”

“I mean, you said either you die or Eva does, and I could die too. I’d actually say Eva’s pretty keen on the idea.”

“You think Madame would allow that?” Tania says,

“I don’t think that’s the point.”

“Well it is.” She says, “She’s been forcing you to the top since before you got here.”

Toni paused, confused and Tania continued, “Ivana didn’t die from an accident. Madame had her killed two days before you got here.”

“Why would she do that?” Toni said,

“To make room. Ivana wasn’t booksmart, she wasn’t the kind of asset they wanted, so they took her outside and she never came back. Petra said she heard a gunshot from the library.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“We didn’t know why she did it. Eliminations were years away. Till you showed up.”

The helicopter approached in the distance, none of them said anything as they boarded, or as they flew. The landscape was familiar, Russian forest. They’d studied it in history and rudimentary science classes. 

Eva and Tania got off first, and Toni followed, they all silently chose different directions. In their hands were firearms and assault rifles. They all wait for the horn to sound, a small hut sits in the clearing where the helicopter landed, smack dab in the middle of the forest. A little speaker is attached to it to broadcast the horn.

She can hear every breath she takes, like sparks her fingers tap anything in anticipation.

The horn goes off and every nerve in her body tells her to duck not run. She drops to the ground and barely dodges a cloud of bullets.

Eva is running towards the forest backwards with her gun cocked on her shoulder shooting aimlessly at the other two.

“You cunt.” Toni murmurs, she pauses a moment, allowing for the adrenaline to wear off, if she’d been shot but hadn’t noticed.

She can hear a low groan from behind her. Tania is lying on the ground nearby.

“Utkyn.” She says testily, “Are you alright?”

Another groan and Toni wants to run to her, but Eva could be watching, waiting for an easier shot. 

“I’m alright, fell on my hip. Probably gonna leave a scar right on above it.”

Toni laughed airily, “Oh dear, how will you fulfill your dreams of being a lingerie model now?”

“Who says that ruins my chances?”

They both get up slowly, but it seems Eva has retreated. The rules have been broken, and they both know Eva won’t end the game if one of them is killed. She’ll go on till she thinks she’s won.

Toni sends a look at Tania before breaking away towards the woods.

While the most exciting part of this trial will be the shootouts, Toni is left to take care of the boring bits, while she waits for Tania or Eva to find her.

She walks for nearly two hours before she finds a creek, the best place to set up camp. She walks ten minutes in each direction to make sure neither of the other girls had the same idea.

She’d packed a blanket with her. They’d allowed the girls to bring whatever they could fit in their bags. 

Eva’s was stuffed to the brim with ammo and grenades, which Toni could admire. 

But she’d be cold that night.

The fire wasn’t easy to light, it took most of her patience not to kick the whole set up to smithereens numerous times, before she finally felt set up. 

It was getting dark when she was done, after heating up today's soup, and washing it down with the first sip of water from her canteen, she put out the troublesome fire and laid between two fallen logs.

Her black blanket and clothing gave her camo in the night, all she had to do was hide her skin, which was so pale she’d been called translucent.

The next morning she woke up with a backache, sleeping on solid ground was not ideal.

She realizes that the fire had blown all night, towards her. She was covered in a thick layer of soot from her torso to her neck.

Maybe she hadn’t done such a great job of concealing her skin as she thought she had.

She stripped off the dirtied shirt and made towards the stream. The first few dunks in the cold water rinse the initial black, but the sides that she’d slept on had really worked their way into the fabric.

As she held the cloth in the water for a few minutes, she heard a small twig snap behind her. 

Only her shoulders tensed, the rest of her body remained calm. She continues to wash the shirt with one hand as the other reaches for the pistol by her knee.

In one fluid motion she flung the wet shirt over her shoulder, and pivoted towards the noise.

A shocked Tania raised her hands, “Don’t shoot!”

Toni paused, “Are you going to kill me?”

“No” Tania shook her head, “Are you going to kill me?”

“No.” Toni sighed, she set the wet shirt on a nearby rock, and tucked the pistol back into her pants.

She looked back at Tania, whose face had turned red. Her hands awkwardly held each other in front. She wondered why a moment before she remembered her own appearance. Her long hair had been freed from it’s ponytail to wash any remaining soot, and she only had a flesh color bra on.

“Pack an extra shirt by any chance?” Toni said, gesturing to the dirty, wet shirt drying on the rock.

Tania shook her head, and they stood there in silence for a few moments.

“So we’re not going to kill each other?” Toni asked suddenly,

“What?” Tania said

“I mean, if Eva dies in this trial, it’ll be you and me in the final. But we’re not killing each other.”

“We’ll figure it out when we get to it.”

“That’s a shitty plan. Our advantage is that we know exactly what’s going to happen. We know their final play. Maybe they try to pit us against each other at the last minute, maybe they say kill each other or you both die, but we can call them on their bluff.”

“What bluff?”

“If we both die, there’s no asset. That’s two decades of resources wasted.”

Tania shakes her head, “So you think they’ll just let us both be assets?”

“No.” Toni says, “That’s the last ditch plan.”

“Then what’s plan A?”

“Plan A is escape.”

Deep down Toni must’ve known some of the other girls didn’t want to be there just as much as she didn’t. Lidia certainly didn’t want to be there, Nika had pretty much been sold off to them. But if anyone was supposed to be loyal to ‘Mother Russia’ it was Tania Utkyn. Or so she thought.

Instead she was surprisingly receptive to escaping. Maybe she’d been plotting all along like Toni had, maybe she’d been too afraid to hope.   
They’d both chosen directions aiming away from the mansion, so they figured if they walked in that direction long enough, they find the fence.

“My blanket should block the current.” Toni says, holding up the thick wool blanket, Tania nods in agreement.

“Should we… kill Eva first?” Tania says, 

Toni blinks, “Why?”

“She’s kinda got a vendetta. Revenge is a powerful motivator, I mean I’m still pissed at the Instructor who brought me in.”

“An Instructor brought you?”

Tania nodded, “I was on a street corner, begging. Told me she’d give me a meal and a bed for the night and I woke up just outside the mansion.”

She looked up at Toni expectantly, “I don’t really remember.”

Tania shook her head. “Rumor has it that your amnesia is bullshit. Nika told us some stuff before she was eliminated. Crazy stuff.”

“It wasn’t true.” Toni says defensively, “Nika lied, and she died for it.”

It burned her to talk about Nika like that, but she could risk someone else dying so Toni could spread her sob story. Every single candidate had a tale to tell about the events that led them there, some much worse than hers.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“If you’re just going to lie then what’s the point of escaping? You’ll still be their drone.”

“I’m not going to lose you over something this stupid!” Toni said in a huff.

“Lose me?” Tania said, “Why would you lose me?”

“I didn’t mean that. I don’t remember.”

“Is that what happened to Nika?” Tania said, “You told her what happened and they killed her?”

“I shot Nika in the head with a pistol point blank. She was tied up in a chair. Defenseless. I killed her. No one made me. I just hate liars.” The hot tears on Toni’s eyes surprised her, she thought they would take longer to return.

Tania looked at her the same way she had for years. With disgust and hatred. “Well I hate killers.” She stood up and walked away

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Tania whipped around, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been itching to kill me since I was eight years old. You begged the Instructors to let you eliminate us, you craved it.”

“I was angry. I lashed out.” Tania murmured

“You weren’t having a teenager rebellion phase Tania! You were murdering people, you killed young girls!”

“Because you’re so innocent!”

Toni stood up, “No. I’m not. That’s the point. We’re all completely and utterly fucked. But it’s not our fault. They made us like this.”

Tania sighed, “Do you think we would’ve liked each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“If things weren’t like this. No Red Room, no trials. If I met you on that corner instead of the Instructor, would we have been friends?”

Toni walked towards her, “Yeah, we would’ve. I still would’ve kicked your ass in Geometry, and you’d tease me in Chinese Lit. but we would be friends.”

They almost don’t hear the rustling leaves behind them, they’re almost so caught up in the moment they let Eva and her assault rifle take them by surprise.

But Toni grapples with her pistol and ducks to the ground as the first wave of bullets floods their campsite. She lets off a few shots, but none of them hit. Her rifle in her bag near the other side of the clearing.

Thankfully, Eva gives up shortly, probably to regroup and try again in an hour.

Toni doesn’t get off the ground for ten minutes after the last shot though, Tania lies near her a few feet back, but they’re both silent.

Toni stands up first, and with just a glance at Tania she sees something wrong.

A small circle of blood mixed with dirt is growing around her torso, Toni ducks to her side, “Tania! Tania are you ok?”

“Never been better.” Tania says shortly, “I guess the underwear model plan is a bust after all.”

“You’re still beautiful, it’ll barely even scar.” She tries to wrap Tania arm around her neck and dragged her towards the mansion, but Tania stops her,

“They won’t help.”

“They might. You’ll be better off trying than, calling it quits in this god forsaken forest.”

“Antonia.” She says, “It’s over for me.”

“No.” She says, quickly wiping the tears from her cheek, “That’s psycho doesn’t get to kill you.”

“No she doesn’t.” Tania says slowly,

“I can’t just sit here while you die.”

“You won’t.” She pauses, “Still got a bullet in that pistol?”

The gun had been discarded on the ground when Toni flew to Tania’s side, 

“Yeah, why?” She pauses in realization, “I can’t.”

“Tell me.” Tania says, 

“I can’t do it. I can’t kill anyone else. Not like this.”

“Tell me your story. Just like Nika. Tell me what happened and put me out of my misery. Don’t let Eva get this. Don’t let her win.”

Toni sighs, “I don’t want anyone else to die.”

“I’m not dying. I’m escaping.”

She runs a hand through her hair, and thank god she managed to put a shirt on before Eva arrived, she uses it to wipe away her tears,

“I was born in New York.” she pauses at Tania’s widening eyes, “And my name isn’t Antonia Sobol. It’s Antoinette Stark.”

If it’s a good story Toni doesn’t know, she only focuses on getting the word out and making sure Tania’s breath doesn’t dip too low.

When she’d done they’re both silent, Tania smiles, “Toni. It’s time.”

Toni’s face falls, she’d been procrastinating, dropping even detail she could remember to put off Tania’s death.

“Remember to bring them my body. Don’t let Eva have it and be careful on your way back. She’ll want to kill you too.”

“I know.” Toni said, “I’m sorry it ended like this.”

“I’m glad we were friends, even if it took us a while to figure it out.”

“In another life we’re best friends. We probably have an apartment together.”

Tania laughed, “We’d last two days in an apartment together,” she’s joking, but her breath hitches on every word and Toni know she close,

She pressed the pistol to Tania’s head. The older girl closes her eyes, but she’s smiling as she softly mutters to herself, “This is it. My big break.”

Eva probably hears the gunshot.

It’s a days walk to the mansion but she makes it. Only running into Eva once, but carefully avoids her by ducking under cover.

She can’t tell if Madame is surprised or even pleased with the outcome.

All she can think about is her escape, and how it’s going to be much different from Tania’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Tania. Had a lot of conflict over this one. The scene where she dies was one of the first scenes I imagined so I've been working up to this for a while. I wish I hadn't named her Tania because it's so close to Toni, so sorry if I confused you guys, I confused my beta reader with that.  
> She seems like an Erika now, oh well too late for that.


	8. January 8th, 2004

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my godsend of a beta! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She took a long time to write, but we got there! Really excited for the next chapter, and it has a pretty large time jump and will be from Steve's pov, so don't be confused!

Date: January 8th, 2004  
Time: 0100  
Asset: Asset Name/ID Confirmed  
Target: Eva Shvets

“Do it.” She might be trying to act brave, but the stream of tears running down her cheek give her away, “Another notch on your belt, another bullet from your gun. What’s it matter now? You’re already beyond redemption.”

Toni tries not to let the words get to her. She knows they’re a ploy. If she lets her guard down, Shvets won’t waste a second killing her. She won’t hesitate as Toni does.

“I’ve played this game before, Shvets,” Toni said, stepping closer so the barrel of her gun was flat against Eva’s head. 

She closed her eyes and grimaced, “Is this what you said to Nika before you killed her?”

Toni didn’t reply, so she continued, “What about Petra? Katya? Or was this how you did it to Tania?”

She pressed the gun harder into her forehead, “You killed Tania.”

“She was still breathing when I put my guns away,” she cocked her head to the side, “Can you say the same?”

Toni turned away, just for a second, even though she knew better. And Shvets used the opening to sweep her legs out from under her, she fell to the ground but kept a grip on her pistol.

“I’m not going to die here. Not like Tania, or Nika, or all the other girls.” Eva said as she held Toni’s legs down with her legs, and tried to wrestle the gun from her hand. She considered letting go for a moment. Giving Eva the gun and surrendering. 

Maybe she’d see Tania or Nika. Would they be mad?

But she remembered Eva’s words. She was past redemption. Wherever she was going she prayed she wouldn’t see anyone she loved there. And if either of them deserved to go to hell, it was Eva.

Her left leg was suddenly free, and she rammed it into Eva’s stomach. The girl doubled over in pain and fell to the side, Toni shot up from the ground and waited just a moment for the girl to turn over onto her back.

“Don’t worry.” Toni said, “I’ve never done it this way before. Not with Nika, Tania, or Petra.”

“What do you mean?” Eva said the wind must’ve been knocked out of her since her voice sounded so hoarse.

“I mean, I’ve never enjoyed it.”

Two rounds in the head, and one in the sternum. Just to be safe. She placed the pistol on the ground gingerly, before finding a plain wall to slide down.

The room she and Eva had been locked in for an hour was familiar, and she only realized at that moment it was the same room she’d been dragged into numerous times before. 

It looked different in the daylight, with the windows drawn. 

It was only a few minutes till the Instructors appeared at the door, she suspected a camera was hidden somewhere, but maybe they’d heard gunshots.

Madame walked in first, a small group of Instructors behind her. 

“Stand.” She said, pausing a moment next to Eva’s body, she looked down, 

“Hello Asset.”

Toni’s ears were ringing, an Instructor held out her hand to help her up. They weren’t supposed to touch her. She almost swatted it away in confusion when she realized they were no longer Instructors. Not hers at least.

She took the hand tentatively and let the woman help her up. 

“Madame,” Toni said, she felt like her whole body was shaking, but her hands and voice were firm. “Am I done now?” 

She realized her mistake the moment the words left her mouth, but Madame’s lips curled in the way they always did when she thought something was funny, “Oh darling, you haven’t even started.”

She gestured towards the open door, and Toni started walking through it, limping slightly, where Eva hid tried to kick in her knee when the trial began, the Instructors stayed inside watching and cleaning the room.

“You’ve proven your worth.” Madame began, “Through discipline, perseverance, and loyalty.”

Toni nodes, she can’t feel her limbs the longer they walked down the hall. She seems to know exactly where they’re going even without watching Madame.

The office Madame spends her days in is smaller than she remembers. And she can remember so vividly now. Everything.

It came back in bits and pieces over the years. She strained her head trying to remember her mother’s face or the smell of her father’s cologne. They were never great parents, but they were parents.

She didn’t have to think too hard to see the man in blacks face. He still came to her in nightmares and the dark.

But mostly she remembered Madame when they’d first met. She was younger, happier, and over the years she’d refined her methods of cruelty and manipulation, and used it on younger candidates more times than Toni could count.

“Darling.” Madame said and, she smiled split her face, “Take a seat.”

She sat, if only out of exhaustion. If this was a test Toni would fail, but as soon at Eva’s head hit the ground she stopped caring about examinations.

“You’ve impressed me over the years. You’re reliable, skilled, and intelligent. You won’t be hard to commission.”

“I’m being sold already?” Toni said, a quip about being rescued from a whore house was on the tip of her tongue and only by the grace of God did she resist.

“You’re being hired, sweetheart.” Madame said, leaning on her desk, “Surprisingly, I’m sad to see you go. Can’t say that about many candidates or assets for that matter. Lord knows Romanov was a pain in my-”

“To whom am I being sold?” Toni interrupted,

“Hydra,” Madame replied, if she was annoyed at being cut off she didn’t show it.

The word rang in her skull, she remembered the name. The soldier. Madame told her about him the first time she was here. He was an asset of Hydra. 

She had been his mission all those years ago. 

Did Madame know she was being sold her her parent’s killers? Did she care? Antonia Sobol didn’t remember the conversation, even with her perfect memory, it happened over a decade ago, she shouldn’t have memorized the speech Madame presented her with.

Submit or be submitted. And that’s exactly what she did. She rolled over and played it safe.

She killed people, little girls, so that they wouldn’t kill her. How much better was she than the soldier after all. Maybe he’d had a metaphorical gun to his head the entire time too.

She couldn’t think like that. He was all she had. He was her new mission, her motivator. If he was employed by Hydra, maybe she’d have access to her parents killer. The man who ended her life as she knew it.

“Is there a problem, Sobol?” Madame said, “We’ve got a lot to discuss, and not much time.”

“Am I leaving soon?”

“On the hour,” she gestures to a nearby clock that reads one forty in the morning.

“And if we’re both lucky, we’ll never see each other again.” Madame continues, “I have your files, they’ll be sent with you. Now let me tell you about your new job.”

She was an assassin. Of course, that’s what she’d been training for. But also an evac operative, and a spy, and thief, and much more.

Her stomach dropped with every title she’d seemingly earned for herself over the years. All the work she was expected to do for who knows how long.

“And the name, I had the honor of choosing myself.” Madame continued, “An asset’s code name is to reflect the nature of their work and their personality, Black Widow, of course, is beautiful and deadly, silently and toxic.” 

“Alpha, an older asset, before your time, was a leader, impossible to look away from, impossible to refuse.”

“I didn’t know all that.” Toni says quietly, “I thought the name had been chosen a long time ago.”

“Oh, it was. You were always expected to be the champion of your class. Even when you arrived I knew I could make you into the next great asset.” She smiled, almost warmly if you didn’t look at her eyes, “And you were so little when you came. So naive and kind. Like an angel, you didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

“An angel?” Toni scoffed, she’d never been much of an angel even before the program,

Madame nodded, “And so I thought Lucifer was a fitting name for the angel who fell the furthest.”

Lucifer. She wanted to laugh. It seemed like not long ago she was calling Madame the devil, and now the older woman had turned around and branded her with the name. Lucifer.

She felt like the room had gotten smaller the longer they talked, and Toni couldn’t even bring herself to look towards the woman as she gave the final details of her new assignment. She just nodded in understanding and turned away. 

The strong doors that held her in all these years opened wide, but Toni didn’t think the toll had been worth it. The baggage she carried with her made her hands and backache, but it was too late to turn around. 

She snuck a quick peek over her shoulder as she loaded her few things into the car waiting for her outside, and saw Madame waiting in the foyer, almost out of view. 

Her face was plain and expressionless, and they wordlessly said goodbye.

The ride was silent. Her apartment was in the heart of Moscow, where she could be operated by Hydra at a moments notice. 

The first few missions were child’s play compared to what she’d done for the Red Room. A hostage rescue, and recovery of items. All just half an hour from her flat.

It was a month before she was assigned an assassination. A rising politician wasn’t respecting the powers that be, and he’d have to be silenced. 

She glanced at his name, and she hung out in the bar he frequented. He preferred blondes so she wore a wig. It wasn’t long until he approached her. Adrian Krupin was young. He would’ve been a good council member.

He bled out in his apartment that night, all signs pointed to a break-in. Toni read about it in the newspaper two days later.

Her successful mission was a show of good faith. Lucifer living up to her name. Evil, cruel, and unbothered by moral tethers was a good reputation for an asset. But those who knew her code name didn’t know she spent nights in her bed sobbing, or lying on her kitchen floor silently staring at the ceiling.

The girls, the targets. They blended after a while. No one told her the reason she was killing people, she didn’t know if they deserved it, and worse, she was beginning to think that they didn’t.

She’d been told she was beautiful all her life. By her parents. By her Instructors. It was always an asset. 

She’d be able to secure a good husband and successor for Howard. 

Or she’d be able to lure unsuspecting targets in with the bat of an eye. 

She never took it as a compliment, because it didn’t mean much. She had nothing to do with her beauty.

But she realized it was easier to wake up in someone else’s bed than sleep alone.

It was easier to pretend to be drunk while she took shots of water than to sit in her cold apartment staring at the TV reporting her latest mission.

No one ever told her to stop, and she never faltered in her job. 

Whoever she went home at night, never saw her again, and if they did she didn’t recognize them, and it must’ve been someone who looked just like her because she had that kind of face. 

She never used her real name. Her real fake name. She never used her real name either, for that matter.

She tried not to remember their names, but if it was mentioned in passing, it was stuck in her brain along with piercing blue eyes, and her first conversations with Madame or her last conversation with her mother, it was filed away with all the things she didn’t want to remember.

Felix. Alya. Ilya. Julie. Even more.

The monotony of living life during the day and working at night took its toll. She imagined this is what the Red Room might have felt like if she was alone and it was smaller. More claustrophobic if that was possible.

She was never paid. But groceries were dropped off every week, her bills were never sent directly to her, and she had a single card that seemingly never ran out of money when she shopped for clothes or furniture.

She didn’t shop often, only when an item is worn out or was ruined. But she wondered about it a lot. Her parents never had problems with money, but that was because her father worked all the time. Was she indirectly being paid, or was there so much money on the card it wouldn’t have to be filled for years.

Would she be here for years?

She didn’t know how far she could travel. A vacation certainly wasn’t an option.

With every assassination she committed, she spent less and less time at the apartment. And she wants to scream at someone, to take all her frustration out of the people responsible.

But she’s never been in contact with them, and at this rate, she never will be.

She realizes she’s forgotten her mission. The soldier is still out there. He could be close. And she couldn’t take him out under Hydra’s thumb. She had to go somewhere Hydra didn’t like to go. Where the KGB couldn’t track her down.

They didn’t suspect her for being a traitor. She had a reputation as the most successful asset yet. They wouldn’t see it coming, and they wouldn’t notice her leaving.

She planned the escape diligently. It all came together when she got her first long term mission.

She posed as a socialite in the elite families of Russia. The Russian versions of her own family.

Maybe Hydra had a sense of humor.

Anya Sokolov was set to inherit an enormous wealth. Daughter of some elusive oil company’s CEO, and has been homeschooled for her entire childhood, this party was her unofficial introduction to society.

As if a message was sent to all the eligible Russian bachelors, the party was filled with young men. They’d been told she was twenty-five, had been schooled alone then sent to a western university only to return to her home to secure a successor for her fortune.

The perfect cover, she as the focal point of the party, allowing her to talk to anyone and everyone, especially her target.

Manya Volkov had been assigned to another asset months ago, but after proving unsuccessful, Toni was given the case.

For a change, Toni was given the details. They were hired by Manya’s half brother Samuil, who wanted to inherit the fortune instead of her. 

However, after sending an agent late last year, whose mission was to seduce her, and convince her to run away with him, it was revealed Manya wasn’t interested in men at all. And so, incomes Anya.

She glides through the room confidently, not letting her worry show. She’s careful with everyone, despite having perfected her Russian accent years ago, she’s still capable of slipping up.

While the men of the party might grant her a mistake here or there, the women are looking at her like she’s the devil incarnate, middle-age women clutch their leering husbands, and insecure girlfriends and fiances smack their wandering boys.

She sticks to single men to avoid drama, but throughout the night she keeps an eye on Manya, who loiters in the back, torn between looking bored and angry the whole night.

She almost doesn’t catch her slip out the backdoor when new guests arrive, and it takes a moment to detangle herself from the crowd to follow her.

The hallways are a maze, and she doesn’t try to mask her footsteps,

“I’ll be right back in Mama, I just need some air.” Toni hears, and she takes a sharp right towards the voice. She finds Manya overlooking a beautiful garden through a window,

“Don’t let me rush you,” Toni replies, stepping next to her with a smile

Manya’s face changes in seconds, from confusion to worry, “I’m so sorry. How rude of me. I’m Manya Volkov, you must be Anya, the lady of the party.”

“The party isn’t for me,” Toni says, feigning shyness, and Manya chuckles,

“Of course, the party is officially for a fantastic second quarter of the business year,” Manya says, “I’ll let you in on a little secret: They don’t usually hold balls for successful business seasons, but they’re always looking for beautiful women to marry off.”

Toni smiles, “No matter, I’m just happy to be here. Did they throw you a party like this one?”

“Oh yes, we all have the honor of being shown around like a prized pony,” Manya remarked, 

“So you’re married?” Toni says, stepping a bit closer

“No.” Manya says, “My father granted me the autonomy to choose my husband, more than other girls get. I never picked anyone, and now I’m nearly thirty and unmarried. Practically an old hag.”

“Please, you an old hag?” Toni says, “You’re the most beautiful woman in that room.”

Manya glances at her a moment, almost longingly, like if they were a little closer, or it was a little later, she might have gone for it. Instead, she pulled away, “I’m probably being missed at the party. You are. We should return.”

Toni sighs, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- I always do this. Just don’t tell my father, please? I didn’t mean to assume anything, but you’re so-so pretty, and I-”

Manya strode towards her and grabbed her wrist, “You’re fine. You didn’t assume anything, I shouldn’t have left the party. Are you ok to go back?”

Toni shook her head, and Manya smiled, “Want a tour?”

Toni smiled back softly, and let Manya lead her down the hallway, she narrated the significance of each room while they last. Some dining rooms were decades old, some board rooms were still in use by their original owners.

Every time they neared a corridor where they could hear the voice of the party, Toni’s face paled, and Manya leads her in the other direction.

It’s not long till they find the same window they met at, Manya doesn’t ask her if she wants to return to the party, “Do you want to see where I’m staying?”

Toni pauses a moment, before nodding. 

They walk slowly down the hall, only a few doors down is Manya’s room. It’s filled with a dresser and a mirror, and a closet, not to mention clothes are stacked on top of each other in the back of the room.

But Toni doesn’t so much as glance at the furniture before Manya leads her to the middle of the room, they pause a moment, looking into each other's eyes, before Toni closes the gap.

They fall to the bed, unceremoniously losing clothes as they roll on it. 

Toni can hardly breathe after a while, flashes of one night stand in Moscow pass through her head, Tania’s face makes a brief appearance when a memory of them in the stairwell after a day of sparring comes to mind. She can’t tell what’s real, happening right then, and what happened years ago.

But when it’s over, they’re both panting, Manya turns towards her affectionately, and Toni lets her cuddle a moment. She squeezes her eyes shut, as little tears pool in the corners. This was supposed to be the start of the mission. The seduction. She had months to work with, and this was the perfect start to it.

But her plan was already in motion, in a few moments, a maid would barge in, finding them in this state, and quickly alert Manya's father. She would be unharmed, but Toni would be dragged out of the mansion and secretly killed. 

Manya’s father was an untrusting man, and he was hard set in his ways. He’d allowed his daughter to go unmarried, but this would be the final straw. 

A body was waiting there, burnt to a crisp, unrecognizable. But the same height and weight as Toni. She’d flee, leaving the corpse, and some manservant who wouldn’t want to admit his failure. The Red Room would be alerted of her failure and subsequent death.

If they even bothered to investigate, they’d find guilt-ridden Manya, and a dead body fitting Toni’s description.

And that’s how ‘Lucifer’ would be retired.

She almost felt bad when she saw Manya’s face. Pure shock and Toni was pulled from the room.

An intimidating man, Toni identified as Mr. Volkov, told Toni she must be punished for being unnatural, and corrupting his daughter. 

He stalked off into the night, leaving one guard to finish the job. Toni took care of him rather quickly and uncovered the body from a hidden closet in the garage. It’d been no easy task sneaking it in that morning.

She took a look at the scene one more time before she left, the guard still unconscious, about to wake up to a dead body. The mansion looked quiet and peaceful from here, she almost wanted to go see Manya again before she left.

But she was late for her plane.

She walked down the streets for a few miles before she could hail a cab. It was a miracle that the mansion hosting the party was completely secluded from the city, or she would have been stranded.

The ride was silent, she got through security quickly with fake IDs and passports, and only a small backpack to carry.

“And where are you heading tonight Ms?” The customs agent asked,

Toni smiled, “New York City.” Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nxt chapt will be a couple of years later, and will be in Steve's POV!!


	9. June 4th, 2011

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Steve is adorbs I love him, Toni has a new name and tries to fight everyone both verbally and physically, also you can skip parts of this if you've seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier if you haven't go do that it's a terrific movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it been 2 and a half months since I posted? Yes. Do I have an excuse? No. Am I sorry? Yes. Will I ever learn? No. God bless my beta, idk why she puts up with me. I'm excited for y'all to read the notes I made while writing this whole thing because you'll get to experience no less than two mental breakdowns(as of now). Junior year kicked my ass, writing kicked my ass, we really aren't thriving, but I love getting notifications that my subscriptions have been updated so this is your no nut November gifts your welcome.

Date: June 4th, 2011  
Time: 2043  
Asset: Lucifer  
Target: Winter Soldier

His mind reeling after his tense discussion with Fury, Steve hopped up the stairs of his new apartment. 

New being a relative term. He’d lived there for months, but spent half the time living in SHIELD barracks instead. They were usually closer, more convenient. Plus he felt more like he was just away from home when he slept in the dull grey room. 

With only one more floor to go, he pauses to pass the girl standing in the hallway talking on the phone. He almost squeezes by. Natasha’s voice is in his head suddenly, “You know if you asked Kristen out, from statistics, she’d probably say yes.”

If she were here, she’d send him that look. The one that said go for it, you idiot. 

So he paused just a moment too long to pass by wordlessly. Kate, he remembered when she introduced herself as he was just moving in, smiled at him and hung up.

“My aunt.” She chuckled, “She’s kind of an insomniac.”

Steve nodded, and for a moment it was silence. Awkward silence. “Hey, uh if you want-if you want, you’re welcome to use my machine.” He gestured to the small basket of laundry she held. “Might be cheaper than the one in the basement.”

“Oh yeah?” She grinned, “What’s it cost?”

He grimaced, “Cup of coffee?”

Maybe she sensed his hesitation, or how every bone in his body told him to run because she politely smiled, “Thank you, but I already have a load in downstairs.”

He nodded, the awkwardness was back with a vengeance, 

“And you really don’t want my scrubs in your machine.” She jokingly continued, “I just finished a rotation in the infectious disease ward, so.”

“Oh.” He sighed, “I’ll keep my distance.”

“Hopefully not too far.” She said, turning towards the stairs

He’d never admit it but he sighed a breath of relief. He probably shouldn’t have done that anyway. Natasha would be upset, maybe he just wouldn’t tell her.

Finally, as he neared the top of the next flight of stairs, the door to his apartment was in view, he strode towards it when someone flung open their own door and rushed out barging into him.

“Fuck!” He heard someone cry, he fell to the ground, paper flew everywhere.

A short brunette woman sat across from him surrounded by envelopes and stacks of paper, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.” She suddenly sat up and shuffled the papers together, “I shouldn’t have rushed out!”

“No no, I was pretty much running down the hall. It’s my fault-” He started, and joined her in picking up the papers, they were almost all mail, labeled with the name 'Eugenia Wilson’. He squinted at the paper a moment before looking up at her, “Eugenia?”

She smiled, “No. I’m Amanda. I keep getting my neighbor’s mail. But Eugenie’s getting old, so I have to bring it to her, but she lives two floors down on the other side of the building. Kinda left it to the last minute this week.”

He nodded, and gathered up the rest of the letters, handing them to her in a stack. “Thanks.” She replied, paused a moment, still sitting in the middle of the hallway before Amanda started laughing.

Steve looked around chuckling himself, “What?”

“It’s just not how I thought tonight would end up going. That’s all.”

Steve paused, “And how’d you think it would go?”

She back off her knees and thought a moment, “Probably with me sitting in an old woman's apartment for an hour, listening to her life story.” She sighed, “I’ve already heard it ten times.”

“And not sitting in a hallway with a perfect stranger?”

“No. I didn’t think I’d accidentally knocked my cute neighbor to the ground.”

Steve hesitated, and Amanda groaned, “Oh my god, that sounded so stalkery.”

“It didn’t-”

“It totally did.” She sighed, “I just saw you when you moved in, but haven’t really seen you since, so I figured you were just visiting. I swear I didn’t plan this. I don’t have a shrine in my closet.”

“I don’t know, sounds like something someone with a shrine would say,” Steve replied, as he started to get up. He gave her a hand and they both paused, nodding a quick goodbye, and went down the hall.

“Oh, I think you left your TV on, by the way,” Amanda said turning towards him, before starting down the hall again.

He nodded, but his muscles tensed. He hadn’t been there in weeks, and he’d hardly used his TV since he moved in. He just nodded towards her, but carefully walked towards his door.

With one ear pressed against it, he could hear the faint hum of classical music, nothing else.

For a split second he wondered if he had left something on, but just to be safe he opened the door slowly, not letting it creak.

It was a few moments till he could see all of Nick Fury, dirty and bleeding, on his couch.

“Captain Rogers, you’re late.”

He paused, baffled, “Didn’t realize this was a meeting.”

“It’s not,” Fury shifted, “My wife kicked me out.”

Steve blinked, the apartment was almost completely dark, and the music quietly continued in the background, “I didn’t know you were married.”

Fury held up his phone, a message quickly typed out on it read, “Ears everywhere.”

The place was bugged then, probably by Fury himself. 

They talked tensely for a few moments, and Steve grew wearier, what was he hiding? And what happened to him in the first place?

Before he could ask any questions, a gunshot rang through the apartment, shattering the glass and his eardrums. He only shot back a foot and paused a moment, before lunging towards Fury and pulling him out of view of the window.

He’d been hit, and it wasn’t good. Steve turned towards the window and got a look at the shooter, dressed in all black and running. He started towards him when Fury grabbed his wrist. 

“Huh?” he murmured, and Fury opened his fist to reveal a small flash drive, “Trust no one,” he said in a rash voice, his breath was getting more uneven by the second.

Steve was about to scoop him up when the door shot opened, he leaped to his feet in defense but was momentarily shocked by Kate from downstairs in his hallway.

“Kate?”

She paused, “Agent 13, I was assigned to watch over you.”

“On whose orders?” he says, letting her further into the apartment,

She catches a glimpse of Fury on the ground and grimaces, “His.”

She mumbles code into her walkie talkie, and Steve can make out is someone on the other end asking for the shooter's status. He’d forgotten all about him, he pauses “Tell them I’m in pursuit.”

With that, he’s out the door. If Kate started to protest, Steve didn’t hear her.

His heart pounds straight to his head but he hardly feels it, all he can think about is running as fast as he can after the shooter. Every time he gets the guy in his sights he seems to disappear. 

Steve crashes through windows and doors after him and almost doesn’t notice the figure right behind him. 

He’ll deal with them in a minute, all he can concentrate on is catching the guy.

Finally, he has a shot, their back is turned and they’re running to the edge of the building when Steve throws his shield. His head snapped towards Steve suddenly, and he catches the saucer with ease, before sending it right back.

All he can make out is the glint of a metal encasing his arm like it’s made of it.

The second guy is on the roof with a pistol, he shoots a few rounds at the knocking Steve out of his shock. Before he can try again the metal man jumps off the building, and when Steve makes it to the ledge he’s nowhere to be found.

He turns sharply, but the second guy is gone too. He’s alone on the roof, out of breath with nothing to show for it.

The hospital is grim and clean. He wants to comfort Natasha somehow, but can’t figure out what would help. He doesn’t know how close they were. 

But even though he and the man had their disagreements, it’s hard to watch him code on the table from behind a window. He can’t imagine what Natasha must be going through.

The flash drive was still in his pocket, he checks it every few minutes to make sure it was still there.

He didn’t know if he was making sure it hadn’t fallen out, or if he was making sure he hadn’t imagined Fury give it to him in the first place.

The whole thing seemed insane, Fury being shot down in his apartment, Kate- Sharon being a SHIELD agent this whole time, and the person following him and the shooter. Who were they? Whose side were they on?

His train of thought is cut off by Maria Hill walking in, “He’s gone. We’re taking him in.”

He doesn’t think much of the call from Pierce the next day. Maybe it’s to debrief or tell him who’ll be taking over Fury’s position. He doesn’t see it coming, not by a long shot.

He’s still in his own head as he knocks out the last of Peirce’s cronies in the elevator, and barely registers the breaking glass around him. He does notice the fall and the impact of the ground. Has the ground gotten harder since he last plummeted to it?

He expects Sam to turn him and Natasha away. Hell, he expects Natasha to ditch him the first chance she gets. He might if he could.

Finding Sitwell should be a good thing, but Steve has an uneasy tension in his chest. As they drive down the highway, he wants to turn around to see what’s coming every other minute. But he stops himself because he’s being ridiculous, till the steering wheel of the car is ripped out from above, and Steve almost screams they crash so fast.

It’s him again. The shooter. The Winter Soldier, Natsha told him about the asset, the ghost. Before he can think about what to do next, the car is flipping and they’re all sprawled on the highway, cars zooming beside them.

The soldier stands yards away, his stance is strained and imposing. In one fluid motion, he steps towards them and cocks his gun on his shoulder. Natasha’s guns are still in the car, Sam is still on his back catching his breath from the crash. Steve himself doesn’t feel ready to fit this supersoldier. 

He struggles to his feet anyway, hoping to buy time for Sam and Nat regroup and join him, when black grappling hook lodges itself in the sidewall of the highway, both Steve and the soldier look towards the hook embedded in the concrete, pausing a moment. 

Steve looks back to the shooter, is this his backup? He looks just as confused though? Suddenly, two hands appear on either side of the hook, gripping the concrete wall. They tense, and slowly pulled up to reveal a woman.

She pushes up and over the wall and both the soldier and Steve watch silently for a second. Her feet are planted on the highway and she sighs, “Really? A highway? Could you be more overdramatic?”

Steve gaps, she’s so familiar, was this the other figure following the soldier the other night?

“It’s like you were trying to make it difficult for me on purpose.”

“Who are you?” Steve says, finally

She doesn’t respond, turning her attention to the shooter, “You just gonna stand there?”

The soldier glowers back wordlessly

“Or are we going to fight?”

As if on cue, they step towards each other a mad fury of limbs, Steve doesn’t think he could join in, and he doesn’t think he wants to.

He turns back to Sam and Nat, who’ve gotten to their feet.

“Who is that?” Nat says, limping but looking more confused than hurt. Sam’s right behind her and they both stand watching the two dark figures attack each other.

After a rather hard kick, the woman is pushed to the ground and the soldier seems to remember he was originally after the three of them, and he grabs another pistol out of some deep pocket or and lines up his shot.

Natasha tenses and starts to dive behind one of the cars they hit in the crash that had been abandoned, Sam starts gets the falcon suit ready, and Steve prepares to charge him and draw his fire. All three are cut off when the woman leaps from the ground to the soldier.

Surprised, he nearly falls from both of their combined weight, and they’re back to brawling again.

“We need to help her!” Steve exclaims suddenly 

“Do we know her?” Sam says incredulously,

“Well, she’s not actively trying to kill us!” 

Natasha murmurs, “More than we can say for him.”

She gestures towards the woman and the soldier fighting, “It won’t be long till he pushes her off again, and he’ll turn back to us. Four against one is better odds.”

“Not exactly a fair fight.” Steve grunts but he strides towards the two of them,

“He’s a supersoldier of some sort,” Natasha says,

“And what exactly am I?” 

She shrugs, “It all evens out.”

With renewed adrenaline, they approach the two, sure enough, the soldier manages to toss the woman backward again and reoriented himself towards Steve.

The woman stands up rather quickly, and finally, he has a clear look at her face. Even though it’s a little bloodied, it clicks.

“Amanda?” He says,

“Took you a while huh?” She replies, “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”

He’s so distracted he almost doesn’t see the soldier coming from the side with a machine gun, but he cocks his shield in time.

“Steve! Less flirting more fighting!” Sam cries out taking to the sky to support Nat as she starts to attack the soldier, and disarms him.

With Sam in the sky, Amanda and Nat on the ground it almost looks like he’s about to go down when he suddenly kicks Natasha to the ground with one leg.

Amanda gets a clean punch in the face knocking his mask to the ground, but he turns so suddenly, Steve doesn’t see much other than his long hair.

The soldier quickly wraps one hand around Amanda’s neck and raises her in the air.

Steve’s mind goes blank, he’s too far away to help her. He’s a supersoldier, he can crush her windpipe with a finger. If only he had something to throw at him. Like a shield. If only he had a shield.

Finally, he thinks clearly and flings the red white and blue shield at the soldier.

His metal hand shoots towards it catching it with ease, but Steve can only see the face that’s now staring him down.

Bucky’s face.

He throws the shield to the ground and wraps the other hand around Amanda, who tries to break his grip furiously, but can only kick her legs. Then in one fluid motion, she throws her leg over his hands and neck and pushed off him.

She falls right to the ground gasping but the Bucky recovers faster, he stands quickly and looks at Steve. He just stares.

“Steve.” Natasha groans, “I think he clipped me.”

Steve turns to Nat, on the ground. He’d completely forgotten, trusting her to be alright.

“What?”

“With the gun, before I disarmed him.” She points to her hip, bleeding profusely and he bends down to hold pressure, they need help. But it’s too quiet all of a sudden.

Steve glances around, the soldier- Bucky is long gone. When the agents surrounded them, he didn’t even notice him slip away.

“Great.” Amanda says coughing, and slowly raises her hands above her head, “Think we’re in trouble?” She smiles cockily, 

“Captain! Hands lemme see ‘em.” Someone calls out

“Steve,” Natasha grimaces, clutching her hip, “Do it.”

He begrudgingly raises his hands and starts to kneel, and lets himself be taken into the transport van.

It's cramped and cold, Amanda’s trying to talk to the guards, but Steve can’t ignore Nat’s erratic breathing,

“She needs a doctor!” Sam says, “She’s losing blood.” Natasha groans, but swats his hand away, “I’m alright.”

“Be quiet.” One of the two guards sitting in the van says, their voice is almost robotic. 

“She could die!” Sam yells back, and the guard flinches, “I said be-” 

He’s cut off by the other guard wrenching a taser from their chest and jabbing him in the chest. Maria Hill quickly grabs the helmet off her head, “These things really pinch your nose.”

With her help, they cut through the bottom of the van and make their escape before the agents even open the doors.

The underground tunnel isn’t exactly unexpected. Natasha seems to know about it, Sam takes it in stride and Amanda… well, she seems more annoyed than impressed with SHIELD facilities.

Fury being alive is however unexpected. Natasha is happier than she lets on, even with the morphine for her bullet wound, she doesn’t get emotional.

“And who exactly is that?” Nick says finally after catching Steve up on what’s really been going on in SHIELD- or Hydra.

“Amanda.” Steve says uncertainly, “She posed as a tenant in my apartment… for some reason.”

“To kill the soldier.” She says suddenly, “And that’s not actually my name.”

“You want to kill the Winter Soldier?” Fury says, “Why?”

“Why do you think?” She says back coldly, turning out of the room, Steve follows,

“Amanda- I mean, what’s your name them?”

“You can call me Toni.” She replies still walking down the hall

“Is that your name?”

“No, but you can call me it.”

“What did he do to you?” Steve says, finally catching up to her, “I know what kind of missions he was sent on.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She crosses her arms across her chest, “It was a long time ago.”

“It’s Bucky.” Steve says, “Bucky Barnes, he must’ve been captured during the war,”

“That was a long time ago too.”

“He’s not in control. He doesn’t know what he’s doing!”

“Well, my parents are still dead!” Toni cries out, “Him being some sick puppet of HYDRA doesn’t make them any less dead, ok?”

“Your parents?” Steve said, “They were his targets?”

Targets were high profile people, celebrities or inventors, he started to wonder who Toni really was.

She shook her head, “Collateral damage. Wrong place, wrong time. I was eight years old.”

“Were you there?” Steve says tentatively

“I was in the backseat.”

Steve sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

And he watched her go, down the hallway and thinks maybe she’ll just leave and he’ll never see her again.

He can’t help the pit in his stomach that hopes that isn’t true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I haven't posted in 84 years I haven't been validated in a while so go encourage me to write more and save me and my therapist half an hour this Tuesday. I've also met a really cute boy in fiction club and he reads and I love him and I can't tell anyone so I thought I'd tell you.
> 
> -Just checked and I'm like 130 words from being at 30,000 words total like jeez i wrote all those words all by myself my man thats a lot of words


	10. June 5th, 2011

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Toni goes all guns a blazing on hydra, you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll be better than Cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally almost done. The next two chapters are really short, like 10 between the two of them. Jesus. Thanks again to my beta, you're a godsend.

Date: June 5th, 2011  
Time: 1214  
Asset: Lucifer  
Target: Winter Soldier

The SHIELD bunker was a maze of rooms with no purpose, Toni could’ve gotten lost for days if she hadn’t turned back after the 4th hallway of empty rooms. 

She’d initially set out to find somewhere to set up some sort of hideout for an easy escape route, but all the windows were barred, very small and very close to the ceiling, and she’d yet to come across any doors.

Just as she was giving up for the afternoon, she heard a rustling coming from a hallway she’d not yet gone through.

“Hello?” She called out, the rustling stopped, “Hey, is someone there?”

Just as she was about to storm into the room, Natasha peered out of the doorframe looking annoyed.

“Oh good, it’s just you.” She paused, “Come on in, I could use some help. Amanda, right?”

“No,” Toni says, passing her through the door frame,

“Then what’s your name?” Natasha says stepping back in the room, which unlike the others isn’t empty.

“Unimportant. What’s all this?” She gestures to the many boxes of files and paper, some paper is just spread out on the floor in no particular manner of organization.

“I’m trying to figure out where Pierce is meeting with the rest of the committee and how to get inside. SHIELD kept pretty good records but this place is ancient.”

“You and Steve are trying to fight Pierce head-on?”

“No, I’m infiltrating the meeting and exposing HYDRA within SHIELD, Steve is going to disable the help carriers and everything.” She pauses a moment, “And try to neutralize the soldier.”

“Neutralize as in kill?” Toni says,

“Neutralize as in rescue.” Natasha says, “I honestly don’t think he’s capable of killing him, even if it’s for his own life.”

“I should be his backup then. I won’t hesitate.”

“Which is exactly why you won’t be involved. We’re trying to capture not kill, you’re too unpredictable. The mission is-”

“The mission isn’t important.” Toni barks, “Sometimes missions are wrong.”

Natasha stops, “Have we met before?”

Toni looks back to the papers, “No.”

“Where do I know you from?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“So I do know you from somewhere, we have met.”

“Unimportant.” Toni squats down, and sifts through the first box of papers, 

“Unimportant like your name?” Natasha folds her arms across her chest slowly, “What is important to you exactly?”

“I know this place.” Toni shoots up, holding the document, “It’s a private building owned by a couple of dozen shell corporations, to hide the fact it’s operated by SHIELD, or should I say HYDRA.”

“How do you know that?” Natasha says, grabbing the paper, “I looked this over ten times, it looked like an office building.”

“I went there once with my aunt. Got lunch, then she had an emergency and had to bring me to this big white room. I sat outside with my book, The Velveteen Rabbit, she argued with them for a little while and then we got ice cream.”

“You’re aunt was part of SHIELD? Is that why you want to kill the soldier so bad, did he kill your aunt?”

“No.” Toni sighed, Natasha wasn’t going to let her infiltrate the meeting unless she trusted her, which meant Toni was going to have to trust Natasha first. “He killed my parents two weeks later.”

Natasha paused, but Toni continued. “I met you on a mission, my first mission.”

“You were a Red Room asset?”

Toni nodded, “It went sour, I was in trouble, you saved me.”

“I don’t remember,” Natasha says,

“I was bugging a hotel room. He came back early, if I left or tried to fight him, it would’ve blown my cover.”

Natasha’s eyes widened in recognition, but her brow furrowed, “No. That was Antonia Sobol. I looked her up after that mission. I kept my eye on her. She was Lucifer. She died on a mission three years later.”

“I couldn’t stand it anymore. The killing. I was becoming like him. A puppet. A murderer.”

“So you left? You faked your death?” Natasha said,

“I had to. I let myself be controlled when I was a kid in order to survive. But I wasn’t a kid anymore. I forgot my mission, my purpose.”

“To kill him?”

“He killed my parents.”

“You’ve killed people’s parents, you’ve killed people’s kids. Why shouldn’t they come after you?”

“They should. Sometimes I hope they do. But I’ve been given a unique opportunity. I’ve been trained to do this all my life.”

Natasha starts, “Revenge isn’t the answer, Antonia.”

“I’m not getting revenge, and my name isn’t Antonia. I’m avenging them. I need to avenge them.”

“There are better ways to become an Avenger.”

Toni scoffs, “Funny.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m not exactly the hero type. Don’t play well with others.” Toni says

“And I am the hero type?” Natasha says

“Yeah, you are. You’ve been redeemed. You can move on.” She pauses looking towards the papers, “I never can.”

“I think you’re misplacing your anger.” Natasha says, “You know he was a puppet just like you. He didn’t have any control.”

“I didn’t either, I got out.”

“You know it’s different. He was with them for decades, just shy of a century. You need to be angry at the ones pulling the strings.”

“How exactly am I supposed to kill his handlers?” Toni snipes

“Well, getting into a room with Alexander Pierce isn’t a bad start.” Natasha says turning on her heel, “I don’t know if you’re ready to go with Steve, but I wouldn’t mind a little backup.”

Toni shrugs and follows her out, “When do we leave?”

Steve was not a fan of Toni joining them on the missions,

“She’s a risk, Nat.” He says, thinking Toni out of earshot

“She’s an asset. She’s highly trained, and I don’t know what I’m walking into with that meeting.” She pauses, “Without her, I wouldn’t have even known where it was.”

“You trust her?” He says finally,

“Yeah. I do.”

She didn’t want to be hurt that Steve apparently didn’t trust her. But it stung. Yeah, she followed him for a few weeks but it wasn’t personal or anything. She didn’t know him yet. Maybe she needed to work on her people skills.

In the meantime, they had a meeting to crash. Toni could see how easy it was for HYDRA to hide within SHIELD all these years, as it was child’s play to sneak into the base of operations.

Neither women had IDs, just super singing well-made wigs, and high tech masks that projected board members faces’ on their own, the real members had been captured and relocated in a SHIELD base nearby. Every time a security guard came close to them as if to question them, Natasha shot them a look of pure loathing.

Toni was glad she’s never been on the wrong side of that look.

They could tell when Steve and Sam’s assault on the helicarriers began, the gunfire and missiles coming from outside tipped them off. Unfortunately, they had to sit through Pierce’s entire evil villainous speech before he finally gave them an opportunity.

“Can I ask you a question?” Pierce turns to another man, “What if Pakistan marched into Mumbai tomorrow? And you knew they were gonna drag your daughters into a soccer stadium. For execution. And you could just stop it, with the flick of a switch. Would you? Wouldn’t you all?”

He slowly offered a glass to the man, who took it hesitantly.

The man paused, and gulped, “Not if it was your switch.” He chucked the thin glass of champagne to the ground, where it shattered. 

As Pierce turns to his security guard, Natasha and Toni make eye contact. “Now.”

He turns back, having been handed a gun, but Natasha shoves the man out of the way and disarms Pierce. Toni rushes another guard, it’s over in just a few seconds, Toni didn’t see much of what Natasha had done.

But when Toni looked up, she was holding a gun, aimed right at Pierce, “I’m sorry.” Says an electronic voice, she quickly pulls off the digital mask and wig, revealing her identity, “Did I step on your moment?”

Pierce chuckles, “Ms. Romanov.”

Natasha smiles thinly before handing Toni the gun, “Who’s your friend?”

“Doesn’t matter Mr. Pierce, because she’s not yours.”

Natasha strides towards a computer, “What are you doing?” one of the men asked,

“She’s disabling security protocols and dumping all the secrets onto the internet.” Pierce supplies,

“Including HYDRA’s.” Natasha remarks

“And SHIELDs,” Pierce adds, “If you do this, none of your past can remain hidden. Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you? As you really are.”

Natasha stops, and Toni gulps, “Are you?”

“What about your friend here?” Pierce gestures to Toni, and she tries to keep her face blank, “I assume you two didn’t meet at book club.”

“No,” Natasha says, 

“KGB then? Former CIA? Dishonorably discharged, and turned to mercenary work?” Pierce guesses, with each comment his smiles widen, “Or is it a lifelong friendship, Red Room?”

Toni adjusts the grip on her gun slightly, but he notices, “Bingo. I haven’t seen one of you before, besides Ms. Romanov of course. They usually keep you on a tight leash. Can’t remember any runaways in the last twenty years.”

“Wouldn’t be here if they knew I’d run away,” Toni remarks,

“Don’t talk to him, he’s trying to get under your skin,” Natasha says, 

“So a fake death? Nice, classic. Let’s see, Filippov was in 99’, Krupin in 02’, then Sobol right after.” He paused, “It’s not Sobol, is it? Lucifer herself?”

Toni remains silent, but he continues, “Go on then, take off the mask. I want to put a face to all the stories I’ve heard about you.”

“I don’t care about your fairy tales Pierce, now shut up or I’ll put one in your leg.”

“Oh you would, wouldn’t you. Is it true you killed three girls in an afternoon?”

“Are you almost done?” Toni says, to Natasha

“Nearly, you can take off the mask if you want, we have to get out of here soon anyway,” Natasha says, not looking up from the computer

Toni sighs, and pulls the mask from her face, Pierce starts to turn but she steps closer and rests the but of the gun on his back. “I’ll bet you look just like your father. I’ve heard your just as smart as him.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Toni says, 

“Don’t I? I wasn’t a Red Room handler, but I was in contact with them. I was supposed to get a very promising asset from them a few years ago and was ever so disappointed that she died tragically. In the line of duty of course.”

“You’re lying.”

“No. I was never a handler for Russian assets, but I had my own pet project. The soldier, of course. I organized all his missions going back thirty years.”

Natasha looked up, and Toni shoved the gun into his back roughly, he fell forward slightly, and turned around chuckling, “There she is.”

“You did it?” Toni said,

“It wasn’t an easy job. Lots of problems came up. Like when bratty little girls insisted on coming on a business trip with her parents. We originally just added you to the hit list, when I had a bright idea. My good friend ran a school for bratty little girls with no parents.”

Toni swallowed hard, Natasha piped in, “It’s done Toni, it’s all out there. Steve’s almost got the helicarrier down, we have to go.”

“You heard him.” Toni’s voice cracked, “He did it.”

“I know, but we don’t have time. He’ll go to jail, he’ll get what’s coming to him.”

“You don’t know that.” Toni pauses, “He could escape, it’s what they do. I’ll never get-”

“Revenge?” Pierce asks,

“Avenge,” Toni says evenly, her hands are still now

“Oh don’t act like this is all for your parents. You’re upset I had them take you. You wish I’d left you in that car.”

“I wish you’d had me killed that night!” Toni says, “I wish I had died with them.”

“Hmm. Trouble’s like this did run in your family. Of course, your father would never admit it, not the great Ho-”

Toni interrupted with a gunshot, everyone in the room flew to the ground but her, Natasha reacted fast, grabbing Toni and pulling her down the hallway and through the staircases. They went silently, guards were too busy securing the other floors to chase them. 

It wasn’t till they’d found the safe SHIELD car parked two blocks down that Natasha turned to her, “Did you shoot him?”

“I missed. I think.” Toni replies,

“Toni.” Natasha says, “An asset never misses.”

“I’m not an asset anymore.”

Toni found that the soldier, Barnes, getting away didn’t affect her very much. Steve and Fury hesitantly told her, as if expecting her to bolt the second she could to hunt him down. She assured them that she wasn’t planning on murdering anyone in the near future.

After the informal debriefing, Fury took her outside of the hospital room Steve was recovering from his fall in, “You have a place at SHIELD if you want it. You’re skilled, well trained. You’d make a great agent.”

Toni sighed, it would be a good job. She wouldn’t be bored, she could sleep at night. Plus working for HYDRA and the Red Room’s archenemy would be satisfying. But she wasn’t ready to be taking missions from anyone but herself for a while, and she already had one on her mind.

“Thanks Fury. I appreciate it.” She says, “But I have a few things to sort out.”

“There was stuff about you in those files wasn’t there.” he says, “Haven’t had the chance to go through them all yet.”

“A few things here and there. It isn’t long till someone puts together who I was. Who I am.”

“And who is that exactly?” Nick says,

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

He left in a hurry, busy with secret organizations to glue back together, and Toni returned to Steve’s room.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.” She says smiling,

“Am I not? I thought I was dreaming when you walked in.”

“That is the worst line I’ve ever heard.” Toni chuckles, “Please tell me it’s never worked.”

“Seems like it’s working right now.”

“Fury offered me a job. At SHIELD.” Toni says, “But you knew that.”

Steve nods, “You take it?”

“No.” Toni says, ignoring his surprise, “I’ve got something to clear up. About my past.”

“Whatever you’ve done doesn’t matter now. You redeemed yourself.”

“No.” She pauses, “I mean before that. Before my kidnapping.”

“I thought you were a kid? Are there people still looking for you?” Steve says,

“No. Everyone thinks I’m dead.”

“So you’re going to track down your family?”

“Steve did you read any of the files Natasha and I released?” Toni says,

“No. I’ve been here for a while. Besides, that’s your private information. If you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.”

“What about when you woke up?”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks, sitting up in bed,

“About people you knew during the war, like the people on your team.”

“Commandos? And Peggy and Howard?” Steve shakes his head, “Not much, just if there were alive or not.”

“And?”

“Well, all but two of the Comando’s passed away, Peggy’s in a nursing home, and Howard died in a car accident in 1993 with his whole… family.” Steve pauses,

“He promised I could go on his next trip. I was gonna take over the company someday I should know how to run it. But he forgot, so I had to beg and beg, and I joined them last minute. So last minute they didn’t realize there was an extra girl in the car until my parents were dead.”

“Toni.” Steve says,

“He pulled me out of the car and held me to the ground for ten or twenty minutes. Till they came and brought me to Russia. I refused to go along with their program so they put me into this sort of electric chair. It made it hard to remember things for a while but they left my file on a table nearby. I read everything, but it was like reading someone else’s biography. It was only after I escaped that memories came back.”

“You’re Howard’s daughter,” Steve says finally,

She nods wordlessly.

“Why didn’t you reveal your identity when you came back?” Steve said,

“I don’t know. I wasn’t ready. I was still so angry.” She pauses, “Maybe I still am.”

Steve grabs her hand and she continues, “I know Barnes was as much as a puppet as I was. I’m not mad at him anymore. But I can’t let Pierce get away with this. I have to shut the Red Room down.”

“Do what you have to. I’ll be there when you need me.” Steve says,

“I know.” And she leans in quickly, planting a soft kiss before turning to go, “It wouldn’t be long till someone tracks down who I really am, I’ve got to get ahead of it.”

“Go.” Steve says, “Go tell everyone one about the murder of Antoinette Stark.”


	11. October 7th, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comupence

Date: October 7th, 2014  
Time: 2334  
Asset: Lucifer  
Target: Judyta Marek

Toni taps the counter of the bar and regrets it immediately. It probably hasn’t been washed in the last ten years, and she can feel the sticky residue on her fingertips. She ignores it, and continues, “One more for me, and another for my friend here.”

The woman next to her is silent a moment, “I’m not your friend.”

Toni smiles, the bartender pours them, and hands over the glasses, both Toni and the woman drink. “Not my friend, but you’re still drinking.”

“Is there some reason you’re bothering me?” She says, tilting away from her, 

“A little lonely is all.” She gestures to the rest of the bar, almost entirely empty, “Not much company.”

“Well you’d have better luck talking up someone else,” she says, “Thanks for the drink though.” She hops off the stool and grabs her bag.

“Oh no, you didn’t think that was free?” Toni pauses, “Did you?”

She stops, “I don’t have anything to give you. Leave me alone.”

Toni steps off her own stool, “I’d like to hear a story. Tell me something about yourself.”

“I have a bad memory, besides there’s not much to tell.”

The last few stragglers in the back of the bar, slowly make their way to the door, and then it’s just the two of them at the bar.

“That can’t be true.”

“Why not?” She says, eyeing the door, wondering if she’d make it. She wouldn’t.

“I want to know how you got your name.”

“What?” She says, dumbfounded, “How do you know my name?”

Ignoring her, Toni continues, “I mean if I was named Judyta, I’d change it too. But how did you land on ‘Madame’? Was it given to you, or did you pick it out yourself?”

“I think you have the wrong person, Miss,” Madame says, 

“Pretty sure I don’t. Because if it weren't for you, I wouldn’t have had such a damn hard time finding you.”

“Who are you?” She says, backing up,

“Ironic that you taught me how to find people like you, that you engineered your own assassin.”

“Who are you!” She cries louder,

“It’s even funnier, that you don’t remember me!” Toni exclaims, “Because, for the longest time, I didn’t either.”

Her eyes darken, and she stares in recognition, “Sobol.”

“No.” Toni shakes her head, “That’s what you called me. My name is Antoinette Stark.”

“You died.” Madame says, “I saw the body myself.”

“I did what I had to do, to get away from you.”

“So it’s been you. All these years, picking us off.”

“It’s been me.” Toni pauses, “I killed every instructor, every handler, ever one I could find.”

“And I’m the last?” She says,

“Well, there was only one Madame.”

“I plan on keeping it that way.” She grips the underside of the bar, and whips out a small silver pistol, “You should’ve stayed dead.” 

Bang bang bang. Legs to incapacitate, sternum for maximum organ damage, and then the head. The kill shots.

But Toni still stands in front of her, unblinking. “You’re getting rusty, Judyta. I switched them out for blanks two hours before you got here.”

She stares at the gun and fires a round into the wall, but nothing comes out.

“You can’t kill me.” She stammers, “I made you, I created you!”

“I know.” Toni pauses, “And I’m not going to kill you. I’m putting you somewhere, where you’ll never see the light of day again.”

Madame steps back, “I’ve still got it, I can take you.”

“No you can’t, Judyta. It’s over.”

She steps forward, but Madame stepped back, “I wouldn’t if I were you.” 

The bartender emerges again from the back, with a shotgun, but Toni waves him away, “It’s ok Steve, I’ve got this. Just cuff her.”

He slowly makes his way around the bar, and she lets him cuff her silently. 

“This is Captain Rogers, threat neutralized team move in.” He says into his comm, 

“I’ll get out of here. Any hole you throw me into, I’ll claw my way out, I’ll pull myself out.”

“And when you do, I’ll be there to step on your fingers.” She pauses, “Besides, I don’t allow prisoners to escape.”


	12. August 1st, 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like an epilogue but the rest of the MCU w this 'verse's Toni.

Date: August 1st, 2018  
Time: 2334  
Avenger: Iron Woman  
Target: Thanos

One might’ve thought after being kidnapped, forced into mercenary work from a young age, and psychologically tortured, Toni’s life would get easier after all that was done. One would be wrong.

It took some doing to prove her identity, thankfully Howard kept a DNA sample in the books in case an illegitimate heir showed up after he died. But she did it, and she was one hundred percent his daughter.

Then the Stark Industries board was more concerned with her mental stability, which was just another hoop she had to jump through.

But she did it, after submitting to a full psychological evaluation, they had no more excuses. And she became the CEO.

Then there were the tabloids. After twenty years of no Starks to follow around, they were more than eager to say she was a drunk, or an addict, or a party girl. Or maybe she was cheating on Steve, with some supermodel or Olympic athlete.

After almost two decades of being entirely invisible, it was unnerving to be watched all the time.

Steve helped, he went on missions, but always accompanied her to galas and fundraisers. He put up with her waking at three in the morning to start working on a project that came to her in the night. 

He even called her at the ass crack of dawn when she was presenting a new missile system in Afghanistan. While the presentation went well, a few terrorists got in the way of her trip home. 

What’s another bomb in her heart? The worst part was the cell she was locked in, the room was all too similar to those of the programs. 

She got out though, fighting tooth and nail to make sure she and Yinsen, made it out alive. Of course, he had to sacrifice himself though, and she couldn’t stop him.

Steve found her in the desert covered in blood (not hers) and surrounded by scraps of metal (very much hers). She felt bad, he’d had to take more than a month off of his search for Barnes, because she got herself kidnapped.

The suit came naturally, like the next step in an organic progression. She wanted to show off, to prove she really was the genius Stark. Steve wasn’t impressed though, “I prefer Toni to Iron Woman.”

But what really stung was Obie. 

She wanted to trust him. She remembered him, as Dad’s friend and partner. He’d look out for her.

Apparently not.

Pepper, (her new assistant), saved her. She should’ve been able to take him, but the reactor left her weak. Weaker than she’d ever been before. 

And of course it turned out to be killing her slowly (not slowly enough), and she had to give Howard credit for his help in solving that little problem.

She had to promise Steve the next time she found out she was dying she’d let him know. She could tell he was really mad deep down, but he wouldn’t admit it. They got married in a courthouse with Happy and Pepper and didn’t tell anyone.

Between Sokovia and all the other Avenger Operations, they’d made a mess. Maybe they should answer for it? After all, they had all this responsibility. 

Steve disagreed.

It wasn’t their first big fight, but it looked like it might be their last. Barnes choose a very bad moment to show up, with a murder charge on his head.

But all that seemed meaningless. Absolute unimportant, when Bruce flew down from the sky and told her about Thanos.

They met up silently, for the first time in years, “Whatever it takes.”

And she gave whatever it took.


	13. Notes on 'The Murder of Antoinette Stark'

-May 25th national missing kids day, also my friends birthday chapter 2  
Toni is a missing kid, even if everyone thinks she’s dead, and a lot of other candidates were missing children.

-April 4th national tell a lie day, big theme in chapter 3  
Nika is killed for ‘telling lies’ and Toni starts out the chapter fed up with lying, but finishes the chapter lying through her teeth so she isn’t also eliminated

-June 26th national torture victims day chapter 4  
Nika’s death was a form of torture, as was the stress of being eliminated and being forced to eliminate their friends and classmates. The way that Katya was killed, and how they used it against Toni, forcing her to ‘mercy kill’ Petra is a subtler form of torture too, making it Toni’s fault at least in her mind, and making her classmates think she’s crazy and likes killing people.

-Sept 10th national suicide day chapter 5  
It’s mentioned that Lidia Yakovlev killed herself the year before because she thought she would be the next one eliminated. She was right and remarks that the girl who tried to kill her in the test deciding who would get a mission would’ve been with her on the ground and Lidia would have had a gun. Ironic.

-The target in chapter 5 was a person involved in the very small Ukrainian campaign in the early 2000s. I didn’t know much about the events so I borrowed a name from a much smaller figure rather than a key player. The story greatly exaggerates the events and involves Russia, while there is no evidence that Russia was involved. It’s more than someone on another side rented their highly trained agents to spy rather than the government actually getting involved though.

-The hotel is a real 5-star hotel and it looks pretty awesome and is poorly described due to the horrible mess in the story.

-May 4th global anti-bullying day, as per UN  
The girls bully Toni out of fear, because they think she’ll get them eliminated, they all kinda bully each other because they’ve lived together for so long and all the stress of potentially dying really gets to them, mind you all the other girls are 20 years old, Toni is 17 so there’s also that.

-Koila Nailatikau was the first daughter of Fiji and later became the first wife, she was kidnapped during a coup against her dad but survived.

-May 23rd  
Maximiliano Gómez was poisoned by his lover, and he was killed in Belgium in 1971. I came up with the idea of Toni beginning a fake affair and poisoning her lover before finding Maximiliano Gómez so I think it’s perfect! He was from the Dominican Rep. and the assassin was also killed, plus he was 28, so it doesn’t follow Gómez’s story at all, but I borrowed the name. I also used the date he was killed as the chapter date, but it’s also my other friend's birthday, I have a lot of friends born in May!

-January 8th Adam and Eve were created in the first week and were quickly sent away from Eden after being tempted by the serpent, often recognized as Satan himself or at least a demon of Satan. I couldn’t find anything on the exact date Lucifer fell from Heaven, but I’ve heard conflicting reports, that Lucifer meddled with Adam and Eve which was his wrongdoing against god, or that he had already fallen and was just doing his satanic thing. I’ve gone with the former, as Toni becomes ‘Lucifer’ in this chapter and according to the Catholic version of the story, and believe me I’ve read them all from Judaism to Islam, I went with this being the act that creates Satan, or Lucifer. Also, hypersexuality is a symptom of PTSD and poor mental health if observed after a sexual assault. I think it’s and underrepresented symptom and it fights Toni’s character really well since she's a control freak and losing control like that would’ve been really traumatic

-June 4th this is a funny and terribly sad reference. In 2018 twitter dubbed June 4th national amnesia day, after a joke on the Simpsons that ‘nothing happened in Tiananmen Square’ which is a call back to the Tiananmen Square protests in China in 1989. The protests were enormous, but the protesters were shot at and mowed down by tanks, by order of the Chinese government, who didn’t want to give the people political freedom. While this isn’t a direct tie to what the chapter is about, amnesia or the recovery from it, it’s important to remember and be thankful for the freedoms we have. Toni actually grew up in a similar climate, with no freedom or free speech, and communist Russia was also a very hard place to live, so I guess it ties together better than I’d thought.

-If you think I actually rewatched the incredibly awkward scene between Sharon Carter and Steve in the hallway 7 times to get the dialogue, you are absolutely right. And yes it was painful.

-Had to come to terms with the fact I couldn’t rewatch the entire movie to get all these scenes correct. If you’re reading this, you probably watched the movie, so I tried to stick to scenes that would be changed by Toni’s presence.

-December 9th the second Friday of December is lost and found, and I thought I’d use a slightly more funny/happy date after the last chapter. Toni is found by a lot of people, many of whom also thought she was lost.

-October 7th, national revenge day, a Libian holiday. Toni really tries to get revenge this chapter. Very revengish.

-All of Toni’s fake names start with her actual initials even the Red Room name Antonia Sobol.

I-’m such a little bitch for characters repeating lines back to each other chapters later, AND saying the name of the story in the story. Sorry if it’s too cheesy for y’all, I just love love love it.

-Basically, after Captain America 2, iron man 1 happened, except Toni had to convince everyone she was not only who she said she was, but also capable of running the company. Then Obie has her kidnapped and the rest follows the plot, except ironman isn’t involved in the battle of new york, which doesn’t make sense but we’re ignoring it. So she’s ironman, but also black widow, in other words, a total badass.

**Author's Note:**

> I need comments and feedback, cos writing these kinds of stories is so draining! If you have any thoughts at all, please tell me!


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